


In the Mood for a Melody

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, College Life, Did shit in the past, Drama & Romance, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Sex, F/F, Light Angst, trying to do good and the right thing now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-23
Updated: 2010-10-24
Packaged: 2019-06-01 02:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15133280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Quinn's the one to get out of Lima and head to New York, playing piano in bars and doing gigs...but she never stopped to think about a tiny cute jewish teenager...





	1. In the Mood for a Melody (Prologue)

**Title:** [In the Mood for a Melody (Prologue)](https://gold-star-fic.livejournal.com/tag/in%20the%20mood%20for%20a%20melody)  
**Author:** [](https://kben.livejournal.com/profile)**kben**  
**Rating:** R  
**Length:** 860  
**Spoilers:** Through Sectionals  
**Summary:** Quinn's the one to get out of Lima and head to New York  


* * *

**Prologue**

If anyone had told sixteen year old Quinn Fabray that, in about ten years, she'd be a permanent fixture behind the keys in various Manhattan piano bars, she would have laughed and suggested the idea was nothing short of insane. By twenty-five, she was supposed to be college educated and possibly engaged (maybe even married) to some college-educated Christian man who garnered the approval of her father. Just like her sister.

Except, Quinn wasn't her sister. Not by a long shot.

Instead of the ideal Fabray high school experience, the younger daughter managed to get pregnant, date a Jewish guy, and discover that her sexual orientation was something her parents considered less desirable that the former two.

She'd given the baby up for adoption to a gay couple who lived on the Upper East Side. As in Manhattan. Quinn definitely wanted to make sure her baby made it out of Lima immediately after birth. And, she'd actually made the connection without the help of Rachel Berry. Not that the girl hadn't offered. But she was so wrapped up in Finn and Glee and beating Vocal Adrenaline, Quinn did the research herself.

It was an open adoption, to a Tom and Barrett McKenzie. One a lawyer, the other a professor, both looking to slow down their professional lives to start a family. Quinn thought they were lovely people and convinced her mother to meet with them. Judy Fabray wouldn't admit it out loud, but she found the McKenzies to be kind and generous people who would give her daughter's baby a good life. Instead, she simply said she was glad Quinn opted not to throw her life's opportunities away in lieu of single motherhood.

After the baby, she and Puck actually dated, officially, through all of Junior and most of Senior year. Then, one night, after Santana's Spring Break party, they'd ended up back at his house, since his mom and sister were down in Florida visiting Puck's great-aunt Edna, it ended.

“Did you just say Rachel?” Puck was still on top of her, though, even if she'd said what he'd just suggested she did, it hadn't stopped him from finishing the task at hand.

“What? Why would I?” Quinn's mind _had_ wandered, but that was nothing new. Ever since they'd started dating, sex hadn't been a rare occasion, and some innocent internal fantasy had always been part of it for her.

“You totally said her name, right before you... you know.” He rolled off of her and flung his arm over his face.

“I... I'm sorry?” She didn't know what else to say.

“Look, the idea of you thinking dirty thoughts about Berry isn't exactly a turn off, but it is kind of a blow to my manliness.”

She pulled the sheet up over herself and turned to face him. “It's not you.”

“Yeah. Obviously.”

“No, I mean... this is...” Quinn exhaled and flung her head against the pillow. “I'm sorry,” she repeated, and moved to settle into him.

He didn't push her away.

A week later, word around school was that they'd broken up because he was going to school in California and she was headed for Columbia University. There never once was a single rumor about how Noah Puckerman turned Quinn Fabray gay because he wasn't man enough for her. Because, if anything, Puck had learned to keep his mouth shut about certain things.

Besides, Quinn's fascination with Rachel began long before Puck was in the picture, before they'd hooked up that first time at that party. Before glee. Before the baby. Well before that, she was torturing Rachel Berry for being different, for being a freak, for putting gold stars after her name. She felt compelled to push the other girl, to shove her hard and keep her at a distance. And then she realized that all that effort came from a place that disguised itself as hate, but it turns out hate and passion are pretty closely related.

Maybe, in some other alternate reality, once she came to terms with that and said something to Rachel, then the girl would smile at her and maybe they'd kiss and hold hands and become girlfriends. Except, that didn't happen. Not here. Not this time. Instead, life went on and Quinn kept her feelings to herself, deep down inside. Until they couldn't stay in any longer. And came out. During sex. With Puck.

Through college, they kept in touch, even though they sometimes went months without talking to each other. But they'd reconnect through email or Facebook or even, sometimes, the actual telephone. And they'd talk about music and bands and movies. The conversation would almost always roll around to Rachel. Puck knew Quinn was still harboring feelings for the girl all through the years, in a very painful, unrequited way. Quinn insisted the longevity of her emotions was based solely in the fact that Rachel was her first real girl-on-girl crush, that it was all just nostalgia.

The problem with nostalgia, however, is that it just grows stronger over time.


	2. Gravity

**Title** : Gravity (In the Mood for a Melody: Part One)  
**Author** : [](https://kben.livejournal.com/profile)[**kben**](https://kben.livejournal.com/) and [](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/)**meggygurl**  
**Rating** : PG-13, angst  
**Length** : 4700  
**Spoilers** : Sectionals  
**Summary** : Quinn's been playing piano bar gigs in New York City. After not hearing from Rachel years after their one night stand in college, they run into each other. At a gig. Where they're both working.  
**Notes** : _This is part one of the future!fic In the Mood for a Melody series. It ended up kind of being_ song fic _, which is weird because I'm not usually ecstatic about_ song fic _. But the fact that this is a story about piano bars based around a musical television series... well, there's a time and a place for everything, I guess. If you enjoy a multimedia experience, the songs featured in this fic_ are: _City, Endless Love, The Nearness of You, and Gravity._ _This is dedicated to[](https://grdnofevrythng.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://grdnofevrythng.livejournal.com/) **grdnofevrythng** who consistently asks for the PianoBar!Fic on a _ near daily _basis._

 

* * *

  
Quinn had always been around a piano. There was always one in her house and when she turned six, the lessons began. When she was twelve, she began to learn her dad's favorite songs so they could sing along together on their father/daughter nights. At fifteen, she began to branch out to more "angsty piano chick" music, to better express her emotions. In the time she spent away from home at sixteen, during her pregnancy, the thing she missed most was access to a piano.

She'd gotten a full academic scholarship to Columbia, which was her plan. She didn't want to rely on her parents for help. Even though they'd found some resolution after the baby, things were never quite the same. So, she packed up and headed to New York. Rumor had it, Rachel was on her way there, too. They didn't really talk that much since Quinn didn't re-join glee during senior year. They were still friendly, sometimes even acted like friends at parties and gatherings. But they were far from close.

Quinn started playing gigs in college for the extra money. For the first couple years, it was just weddings or barmitzvahs on weekends. Then she began to fill in at a local open mic night, whenever the regulars needed someone to take over. Once she turned twenty one, it became a nightly occupation, in a handful of bars that rotated players on various nights of the week.

By the time she was twenty-five, she had a small following, people who liked her style or her voice or maybe just thought she was a hot blonde who also happened to play the piano. Any which way, it made for good tips, and the four years she'd spend earning an English degree seemed pointless, because she really felt she could probably do this forever, or at least a good long while.

Sometimes, she though she saw _her_. There would be a flash of brown hair, maybe a short plaid skirt with knee socks. It was silly to think that Rachel dressed the same as she did in high school, but it still triggered the memory of her.

But it never was _her_. And Quinn was always conflicted about the outcome. Sure, she wanted to see her again. Every once in a while, she'd dream about it and they'd start chatting as if no time had passed at all and often end up in bed together. Those were dreams, though. That wasn't what would happen if they did even run into each other. Not again, anyway.

They might talk, exchange numbers, but never call. They'd likely been living in the same city for years and neither had bothered to look the other up. So, why would a chance meeting make any difference?

Which, was easy to say. Until it actually happened.

-

The playlist was standard wedding crap. That wasn't fair. It wasn't crap. Just, _cliche_. They were good songs, and everyone loved them, which was really what mattered. But seriously, Endless Love? No matter how many times she sang it, the first image in her mind was the duet between Rachel and Mr. Schue, specifically the dopey look on the brunette's face as she instantly began crushing on him through the song. There was a period of time where Quinn tried to find a song that evoked _that_ reaction in Rachel, but it didn't work.

She arrived at the venue a little bit early, as she liked to scope out the crowd and get a vibe for what was going on. Certain gigs, especially weddings, could be tough because there were a lot of emotions running high and sometimes a fight might break out between the best man and a bridesmaid's husband because he'd been under the impression that she was getting a divorce but actually wasn't. It happened more often than you'd think.

It was eight-thirty and the event began at nine. This was a casual post-wedding after party for a lesbian union. The first thing she did was inspect the piano. She hadn't played this particular bar before, so it was always a good idea to make sure everything at least worked. After running her fingers over the keys of the upright (the standard choice for the smaller bars, due to lack of room), she made a move for the bar to get a pre-show drink. There were singers who swore off the stuff, but she wasn't Streisand, so she didn't care. A good scotch loosened her up and gave her charisma.

As she sipped the Glenlivet, she took in the room. It was still a little early, so the bar was fairly empty. There was a small group of people over at a back table, prepping the party favors. The door opened and a woman entered. Quinn barely had to look at her to know exactly who it was.

Rachel Berry. Live, and in person. In front of her.

If it hadn't been for the bit of scotch she'd already consumed to take the edge off, Quinn might have dropped the glass.

After the initial shock of seeing her, the next thought in her mind was, _Oh god, it's **her** lesbian wedding party. I have to sing **Endless Love** for Rachel Berry at her lesbian wedding party._ Then, her brain actually managed to function and Quinn remembered that she'd already met the two ladies when they'd interviewed her, and neither of them had been Rachel.

Quinn was at the far end of the bar, her back against the edge of the polished bartop, and Rachel hadn't spotted her, yet. The brunette smiled at one of the party organizers and one of them pointed over at the blonde.

Which led Quinn to her next thought. _Oh, **crap.** She's the other singer. I have to sing **Endless Love with** Rachel Berry._

Rachel followed the gesture until her eyes landed on Quinn.

They hadn't actually spoken in at least four years. They were still "friends" on Facebook, but Quinn never did anything other than read Rachel's status messages. Occasionally, she thought about just removing the other girl from her newsfeed, so maybe she could just get over her all together, but it never happened. Not the deleting **or** the getting over.

Quinn offered a small wave, which Rachel returned, her face unreadable about what she might be feeling at this moment.

She looked the same. Kind of. Older, obviously. She hadn't made any drastic changes to her hair and didn't seem to have gotten any plastic surgery to boost her entertainment career. Her wardrobe was more mature than the plaid skirts and cardigans she'd worn all through high school. But, for the most part, she looked like Rachel in a classy black dress and heels.

"Hey." After all the time that had passed, after all the emotional nights over the years, pining over unrequited love, that was all Quinn could come up with.

"Hey, Quinn." Rachel had a friendly smile on her face, but she'd always been a professional. Or maybe Quinn was just trying to hard to read into everything and maybe it was just a smile for the sake of smiling.

"Did you, um, get the set list?"

Rachel nodded. "Yeah. Pretty standard."

"Yeah. Did you want a drink before we get up there?" Or maybe that was bad form, considering what had happened last time they were drunk together. But who said anything about drunk? This was work.

The brunette turned to the bartender. "Soda and lime, please?"

Quinn observed the order and assumed that Rachel, with all her experience, didn't need to loosen up before a performance. Probably even looked down on those who did.

"And a shot of Grey Goose."

Maybe not.

The bartender prepared the order as the two women stood next to each other by the bar.

"I saw you... last year."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, the Big Rent Revival?"

There had been a one week engagement of RENT the previous year, with a different cast each night. Quinn had randomly caught the ad on a website and the second she saw Rachel's name next to the role of Maureen, she ordered a ticket. Though, she would have ordered one even if the girl had just been ensemble.

Rachel genuinely smiled at that. "Yeah?"

"You were amazing."

"Thanks." She picked up the shot of vodka. " _Viva La Vie Boheme._ "

Quinn raised her own glass to meet the toast, then took a drink as Rachel downed the shot. Then, instead of moving for the soda, the brunette ordered another vodka.

While the bartender poured, Quinn tried to find a conversation point. "So, any other shows coming up?"

Rachel shrugged. "Auditions, as usual. A few call backs. There's still a lot talented of people in this city."

It was the blonde's turn to toast. "Damn them."

The smaller woman, raised her eyebrow, then clinked the shot glass against Quinn's tumbler. They drank to the sentiment, then caught the signal from the party planner to take the stage. None of the guests had arrived, yet, but the plan was to be playing as people entered.

Rachel Berry could not believe her fucking luck. She'd come into this knowing that she was singing with Quinn Fabray. She'd almost not taken the gig, but she needed the money. So now, here she was, about to order her third vodka to keep from running out of there. Which, would be fairly ironic since she ran away the last time she'd seen Quinn. Rachel looked at her, and again, all she could picture was what Quinn looked like, naked, tangled in her dorm sheets, completely asleep. God, she was beautiful then. Not that she wasn't now, she was. Just... older. More worn, or something.

 _Yeah_. Rachel was going to need that third vodka.

Quinn moved for the stage while Rachel lingered at the bar. She wondered if the brunette always drank so much before a performance. It didn't seem like a particularly good habit to have, since it would really wreak havoc on her voice. Not that Quinn didn't drink plenty, but she wasn't trying to land any roles on Broadway.

There was a well worn circle on top of the piano where many players before had rested their drinks. She took a hearty sip, then set her scotch on top of it. Even though there was a playlist, Quinn had a couple songs she played for herself, just to warm up. Since Rachel was still standing over by the bar, she figured it wouldn't matter what she played at the moment.

Sara Bareilles had always been her go-to warm up choice. She'd been known to run down an iPod battery just replaying the _Little Voice_ album on repeat.

_There's a harvest each Saturday night / At the bars filled with perfume and hitching a ride / A place you can stand for one night and get gone / It's clear this conversation ain't' doing a thing  
Cause these boys only listen to me when I sing / And I don't feel like singing tonight / All the same songs_

The singing actually relaxed her more than the booze. She just needed the drink to get relaxed enough to sing.

Rachel stayed by the bar, watching Quinn with lowered eyelids. It was hard, being this close to her, again. Hard, because Quinn represented one of the worst periods of her life. College had been hell for Rachel. Hell, because all her dreams, all her hopes, all her goals were trashed. She was never good enough, pretty enough, just never _enough_. She used to cry a lot, then she progressed to drinking a lot. The year she slept with Quinn, Rachel was drunk at least five out of seven nights of the week. She drank, partied, and fucked her way across New York. She was pretty sure her intense sexual education and safety measures, even when drunk or stoned out of her mind, were the only reason she didn't end up with anything she wasn't able to get rid of.

About halfway through the song, Rachel moved over to the piano. She definitely knew this one, it was one of the most listened to songs on her iPod. Once she was on the stage, she leaned against the piano some and came in with her on the next verse.

_The situation's always the same / You got your wolves in their clothes whispering Hollywood's name / Stealing gold from the silver they see / But it's not me_

Quinn had seen Rachel walk up to the stage, she'd watched her approach the piano and take the second microphone into her hand. Still, the moment she started singing, it took the blonde by surprise. She let Rachel take the verse, then came back in with her on the chorus.

With the exception of the show last year, she hadn't heard Rachel sing since high school. And seeing something on Broadway didn't quite have the same intimacy as a small auditorium, or better yet, the old music room. There was a new quality to her voice, too. Maybe it was just the booze, but it was a little rougher than she remembered. Not bad. Just... different. Older, maybe.

_Calling out somebody save me I feel like I'm fading away / Am I gone? / Calling out somebody save me I feel like I'm fading_

The only time Rachel ever really felt alive anymore was when she was performing. That is why she did these gigs instead of doing what her dads wanted, to get a "real job" in an office building. Rachel did these piano gigs along with lessons and still working some Off Off Off Off Broadway shows. The small theater company she worked with was the oldest women's theater company in the country and they did a lot of gay and lesbian themed stuff. She didn't always get to sing there, but it was fun and she'd assembled a small group of friends. She also rarely drank anymore. But tonight was special. Tonight she was singing with Quinn Fabray for the first time since she was seventeen.

And, god, their voices sounded good together. Which kind of shocked Rachel.

They ended the song, their voices swirling together and the image that Rachel kept coming up with was one of pouring creamer into black coffee, how they swirl and blend and soon it's no longer coffee and creamer, it's one unit.

_In these deep city lights / Girl could get lost tonight / I'm finding every reason to be gone / There's nothing here to hold on to / Could I hold on to you?_

Rachel's dark eyes moved to Quinn on the last line and they held her there.

It's just a song. That was what Quinn told herself when she found herself locked in Rachel's gaze. It's just a song, and it's not like she picked it out.

"That was amazing, ladies," came a voice from the back of the room. "Go ahead and start with the songlist. The first guests are just about to come in."

"Guess that's their way of saying we need to up the mood a bit," suggested Quinn. She offered a small smile. "You got the list, right? Did I already ask that? I'm sure you know them all, anyway."

"Standards." Rachel replied, running a hand through her hair. "Same crap at every wedding." She flashed a group of guests a mega-watt Berry smile and muttered. "Let's do this thing, Fabray. Next drink is on me."

"I'm holding you to that, Berry." Quinn began to pound out the opening notes to _Happy Together_. The next several songs were equally as upbeat and focused on things like love and happiness. It really was a wonder that the both of them were having to work in tiny venues, because the performance they put on, this guise that they were two happy people singing about true love, seemed sincere and believable.

Rachel could (and sometimes did) sing these songs in her sleep. They were meaningless to her. Words that were fluff and pointless. Love didn't work like that. Love was waking up alone in a cold and empty bed. Or an old ratty tshirt your last lover hated so much, they threw it away, and you dug through a dumpster for an hour at 3am, high on something because you couldn't part with it. Love wasn't a rainbow.

The next song on the playlist made Rachel smirk. She looked at Quinn, still smirking, forgetting she might not remember that incident. When Quinn cued up the piano, Rachel's voice was strong and filled the room fully, she almost didn't need the mic.

_My love / There's only you in my life / The only thing that's right / My first love / You're every breath I take / You're every step I make_

Quinn remembered. And the memory of watching Rachel scramble around after Mr. Schuester during the entire length of the song made it difficult for her to keep a straight face. By the time they got to the second verse, she'd given up and just smiled as she sang. If she at least managed to avoid eye contact, she could probably stop herself from laughing.

_And your eyes / Your eyes, your eyes / They tell me how much you care / Ooh yes, you will always be / My endless love_

Rachel was laughing in her head. God, she'd been such a stupid girl. Chasing after Mr. Schuester like that. Literally chasing him around the piano. He wasn't the first authority figure Rachel would end up chasing, though he was the only one to actually stop her. She'd always remembered him fondly because of that. She threw a careless wink at Quinn, letting the song lift her spirits and they came in for the duet.

_Two hearts / Two hearts that beat as one / Our lives have just begun / And forever / I'll hold you close in my arms / I can't resist your charms_

The wink actually knocked the smile of Quinn's face, just for a second. It was a throwaway gesture, just something silly. But it definitely caused a reaction in her. She pushed it aside and continued with the song. This was the last number before the break, and then she could get another, much needed drink.

_And, yes / You'll be the only one / 'cause no one can deny / This love I have inside / And I'll give it all to you / My love / My love, my love / My endless love_

It was over.

Quinn swung her legs out from under the piano. "How about that drink?"

Rachel set the mic down and nodded. "I think I need another round before we do another round." She led the way to the bar. "You- are amazing Quinn. I mean, your voice has really hit it's stride I think. You were good in high school. But now you're amazing." Rachel leaned against the bar and this time, thought she should take it slow. She ordered a vodka cranberry. "Same?" She asked the blonde.

"Uh, yeah. Glenlivet, thanks." _Did Rachel Berry just call me amazing? At singing?_ "And, thanks... You still steal the show, though. Always have. But, I've definitely had the chance to work gain experience. I mean last time we talked, I'd just started playing regularly..." _Last time we talked, we had amazing sex and you disappeared on me._

Rachel's only visible reaction to the mention of the last time they saw each other was her hand tightening on her glass. "Well, you sound amazing. And yeah, small venues seem to be my thing. I get great tips. They keep me fed most weeks." She smirked a bit.

Just then, the wedding couple approached them. "Excuse me," said one of the brides, "But we'd love to get a picture with you."

The second bride smiled widely at them. "You're both absolutely gorgeous. I mean, you sound gorgeous. Sorry, honey." She offered a sheepish look to her new wife, who just laughed at her.

"Oh, sure..." Quinn glanced at Rachel.

The two brides flanked both sides of the performers and pushed the blonde and the brunette together while photographer waited for them to get situated.

Rachel automatically placed her hand on the small of Quinn's back, not even thinking about it. The closeness, the booze, the singing, it was all getting to her head. And with even less thought, her hand slipped under the back of her shirt, fingers brushing skin.

Quinn's arm moved around Rachel's back around the same time she felt a hand slip under her her shirt. Her own hand settled on the brunette's shoulder as she leaned against the other woman.

"All right, everyone smile!" The photographer snapped a few photos.

The women thanked the singers, then moved on to mingle with their other guests, leaving the duo still standing close.

Rachel's fingers slipped out of her shirt and she grabbed her drink, not moving far. "Such a cute little couple. Maybe this one will last." Rachel's glass went up in a toast. "To forever. Or something stupid like that."

Quinn didn't say anything, but she clinked her glass against Rachel's, then she took a huge swig of scotch. They still had a few minutes before the next set was due to start. "So... you heard from anyone back home lately?" Talking about Lima felt like it was probably the safest bet.

"Just from my dads. They say it's the same as ever." Rachel look a long sip. "I don't think I've spoken to anyone from Lima in years." She squinted, trying to remember. "I used to keep in touch with Finn... but that kinda died. I don't think he could handle watching me trying to kill myself slowly anymore." The brunette was still, if nothing else, honest about herself. "I don't hold it against him."

Again, Quinn wasn't sure how to respond. So she just took another drink. Apparently, that gave her whatever she needed to ask, "What changed? With you?"

Dark eyes turned to Quinn. "I grew up. What changed with you?"

"I got pregnant at sixteen, gave the baby away, and moved away from home." She didn't feel like digging for answers right now. "I think we're due back on stage." Quinn moved for the piano.

Rachel followed and she frowned. She felt guilty for dodging Quinn. She knew the blonde deserved answers, but Rachel felt that she wouldn't like them. Or, at least, the questions that needed to be asked. As Rachel put her drink down and picked up the mic, the thought briefly about how she really didn't want Quinn to know just how messed up she'd been back then, how horrible that year was for her. So, she just nodded at her to start the next song.

Of course, the next song on the list was a painfully appropriate, though maybe years too late. Quinn took a deep breath and shifted back into professional mode, which meant she shoved any emotions she still had for Rachel to the back of her mind.

_It's not the pale moon that excites me / That thrills and delights me, oh no / It's just the nearness of you_

Rachel had never been good at hiding her feeings, and while she was better at it now in her daily life, it still showed whenever she sang. Which is partially why she was such an amazing singer. She took a deep breath and poured herself into this song.

_It isn't your sweet conversation / That brings this sensation, oh no / It's just the nearness of you_

Quinn could hear it, that signature Rachelness that came through in the music. Again, that earlier mantra rolled through her mind, the one that reminded her this was just a song, that these were just words.

_When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me / All my wildest dreams came true_

Rachel's eyes were closed at this point, one hand on the piano to anchor her, the other on the mic which was inches from her mouth. She tilted her head back some and she was so into it, the talking in the bar had all but stopped. Camera flashes popped as women took pictures of the brunette pouring out her soul. No less than six of them decided they would be taking her home with them.

_I need no soft lights to enchant me / If you'll only grant me the right / To hold you ever so tight / And to feel in the night the nearness of you_

This was what confused Quinn. Even though she didn't really know what exactly had happened to Rachel over the last several years, she still had a magnetism, she still deeply engaged people when she sang. And a Rachel Berry intimate performance was still definitely the sexiest thing Quinn had ever seen.

They made their way through the rest of the set without incident. A couple more rounds of drinks had been sent to the stage as the crowd became progressively more inebriated and the single ladies in the audience had it set in their minds that they wanted to spend the night with _at least one_ of the two performers. Perhaps there was hope that if enough booze flowed, someone might wrangle the both of them. Except, in order for that to happen, Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray would have to progress past small talk.

When the last song finished, Quinn grinned at the audience, "Thank you everyone! Have a wonderful and safe rest of the night."

Rachel blew a kiss into the audience. "Remember, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here and jail isn't worth it." Rachel flipped off her mic and set it down, facing Quinn. "It was good, Q. I'll see ya around." She turned and moved off the stage. As she walked, at least three different women approached her.

When Rachel made her grand exit, Quinn waited on the stage. The gig was done, the party slowly broke up, a few people lingered at the bar. Instead of heading out the door, she turned back to the piano and started another song from her go-to warm up list. Or maybe it qualified as a cool down number.

_Something always brings me back to you. / It never takes too long. / No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone._

Some of the remaining patrons quieted down and watched as she played. She didn't care. This was what she did every night, anyway, the same thing she'd just done for the last three hours.

_You hold me without touch. / You keep me without chains. / I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign._

The same thing she'd done for the last three hours, with Rachel Berry. What were the chances, really? A second random encounter? Or was there a statute of limitations on randomness? Maybe three years or something? In which case, they were back to square one. Whatever that was.

_Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. / Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. / But you're on to me and all over me._

It was nothing. They were nothing. They weren't even friends. They were old high school classmates who hooked up once in college. So they'd had one night of fucking fantastic drunk sex. So what?

_You loved me 'cause I'm fragile. / When I thought that I was strong. / But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone._

Rachel wasn't even the same person Quinn knew when they were sixteen. The confidence, the vibrancy, the "can-do" attitude, all of it was gone.

_I live here on my knees / As I try to make you see / That you're everything I think I need / Here on the ground._

Except when she was on stage. That was what Quinn had seen tonight. A gold star. Tarnished and worn, but still golden underneath.

_But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go. / The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down._

The woman Rachel left with was a blonde. Though, she wouldn't admit it to herself when she snuck out of the woman's hotel room without leaving a note, she wasn't nearly as pretty as Quinn.

_Something always brings me back to you. / It never takes too long._

_._

_._

_._


	3. Never Gonna Quit You Over Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened years ago when Quinn and Rachel met at a party in college? They're not close, they're not friends. They're not... anything.

**Title** : Never Gonna Quit You Over Time  
**Author** : [](https://kben.livejournal.com/profile)[**kben**](https://kben.livejournal.com/) and [](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/)**meggygurl**  
**Rating** : NC-17  
**Length** : 7900  
**Spoilers** : Sectionals  
**Summary** : Quinn and Rachel meet at a party in college. They're not close, they're not friends. They're not... anything.   
**Notes** : _Okay, so, this is actually a prequel to my PianoBar!Fic In the Mood for a Melody, of which I posted the prologue a while back. The REASON that fic is taking so long is_ because I _got a little stuck with the way I set up the future!verse and had to fill in the blanks. So, that's what this is. The Blanks. And **meggygurl** was so kind to help me out with this. This is definitely angsty and contains a touch of behavioUr that's not quite vanilla. Nothing too outrageous, but let's just say sometimes small hands are an asset. Aaaaand, that's all I'll ramble about right _ now, _because I've been up for too many hours formatting fic and looking at Golden Globes pics._  
**Other Notes** : This is a repost of an older fic, which has been moved to this journal and off **kben** 's.

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It was a theatre party, more artsy and somewhat controlled than the regular keggers that went on around campus. Quinn didn't end up at too many of them, but this was supposed to be a birthday party for her friend Kelly, even though there was nothing to distinguish that it was, in fact, a celebration of anyone's birthday. Just a bunch of drunk college kids.

Quinn was two beers into the evening and definitely not drunk enough for a lot of the antics that were going on around her. So, she stuck to the room with the band and just listened.

Rachel used to love these parties. She viewed them a social networking gold mines. Three (oh god, **three** ) years later, she hated them. The only reason she was at this one was because it was her friend's friend Kelly's birthday, and the band was pretty good. She was halfway hiding in the dark of the room, in a chair in the corner of the room when she saw a swoosh of blonde hair. She choked on her drink. "Oh fuck me."

The band was fine, but the crowd was a little obnoxious. Quinn edged toward a corner, just so she'd be away from most of the madness. There, in a chair, was Rachel Berry. Like, really. "Rachel?"

Quinn fucking Fabray was standing right in front of her, and Rachel wondered if now would be a good time to run. _Fuck. Heels._ She abandoned that idea and moved on to Plan B. "Hey Quinn, what are you doing here?" She stood up, a little wobbly. It might have been from the cheap vodka she's been ingesting all evening. She took a step and gave Quinn what can only be described as an awkward heterosexual girl hug, hardly anything touching. "How have you been? It's been too long!"

"Whoa." Quinn caught Rachel on her wobbly feet, evening her out before she let go. _Damn_ , she looked good. The blonde felt under dressed in her jeans and vintage t-shirt, even though that was pretty much all she'd been wearing lately. "Yeah. Graduation." She smiled. "So, uh, you... know Kelly? It's her birthday. Or are you just here with someone?" _Here **with** someone?_

Rachel nodded. She was in a tight black dress, that was probably too short and too low cut. Her heels set her at almost Quinn's height and she met the other girl's eyes, loudly responding. "It's too loud in here. Wanna go outside and talk?" _Why the hell not?_ She hadn't seen Quinn in years. It would be something funny to tell her roommates when she got home.

"Sure, yeah." They were shouting over the band, so it was definitely a better move to go outside. Except there were just so many people to push through. Not really thinking about it, and since it was the way most girls moved through parties together, Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand, not romantically or anything, just effectively, and led her through the crowd until they got to the door that spilled out onto the patio.

Rachel took in a gulp of fresh air. It was a little brisk, but not cold. She moved down to the steps and sat down, leaving room for Quinn. "So, you know the girl who's birthday this is? Not that you would ever know this was a birthday party. I swore parties use to have cake. Now they just have coke." She leaned back on her hands, her long (she's grown is out even longer) dark hair spilled down her back (it was curly today).

"Yeah. Kelly. We were roomies freshman year. Stayed friends." Quinn focused on the bottle's label, absently picking at the edge of it. "I've been at Columbia. Which... I think you knew. It's that academic scholarship I got, senior year." She wondered if Rachel even talked to anyone back in Lima. She only knew what she heard from Puck, and he hadn't said much about her.

"Cool. My current roommate knows her from high school or something. So, here I am." She nodded at the Columbia comment. "Yeah, I remember. Also, Finn mentions it, like, once a month." She looked at the other girl. "He hears about it from Puck I guess."

Quinn straightened up at the mention of Finn. _Were they still dating?_ "Oh. Cool. I haven't talked to Finn in... ages. Are you two still..."

Rachel and Finn hadn't been 'dating' in years, though they were still close, and sometimes, when they were both single and lonely, things happened. But Rachel had long ago fallen out of love with her leading man. She smiled though, completely misunderstanding Quinn's question. "Oh yeah, can't break us up. It's still meant to be. If only I could get him to stop playing all that stupid football and concentrate on what's important."

_Well, there you go, Fabray._ "That's great." Quinn took a long drink of her beer. "You were headed to NYU... back then... is that where you are now? And does Finn go there? Because I thought he ended up at Ohio State." In fact, she was almost positive Puck had said something about visiting him and... hadn't they gone out and picked up some chicks or something? Of course, knowing Puck... who knew?

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, he plays football there." She smiled a little. "I went down to see him last month and met his girlfriend. Total blonde cheerleading bimbo." She paused and looked at Quinn with a smirk. "Guess the boy has a type. She'll be gone in a month when he's bored though."

"His gi-- Oh. Okay. Somehow I thought you meant you two were... nevermind." _Shit._ She took another big sip of beer. "Are you in any shows or anything? Like at school? Or, what are you even doing now?" Quinn had just started playing piano in bars, advancing her occasional weekend gigs into a possible career. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about it, yet, though.

Rachel laughed a bit, louder then normal as she took a sip of her unnamed vokda based drink. "Oh god, me and Finn? No! Not for a long time. We're still close though." She shook her head, amused. "I'm in our big spring production. Not a lead... but I have a name, so that's a plus. I have done a few things off-off-off-off broadway." She shrugged. "I honestly..." She hesitated. "I'm in a local choir. I love that a lot more." She smirked. "And get more solos."

Quinn actually smirked back. "You always did love your solos." She reached the bottom of the beer and set it on the ground. Fortunately, there was an ice chest nearby and she immediately pried it open and dug out a bottle. "Are you taking classes, too?" She ran her thumb over the cap, just making sure it was flat and secure, definitely unopened... because, you couldn't be too careful. Then, she placed the edge of the cap on the railing behind her and smacked the top of the bottle, popping the cap off.

"I still do." Rachel watched Quinn, her eyebrow up. "Cute. Is that how you pick up all the ladies?" She moved on as though she hadn't said anything. "Yeah, full time student. Getting my degree in theater performance." She smirked. "I thought about just dropping out and trying harder at auditions and stuff, but Dad said he would only pay for living here if I'm in school. Also, acting is my weak spot. So, I need all the degrees I can get. I never was a very good liar."

_Did Rachel Berry just say something about me picking up ladies?_ Not that it was a big secret. They'd just... never talked about it. "No. You weren't. You were always a little too honest, actually." Quinn took a swig of the fresh beer. This was number four, which meant she needed to slow down, and just maintain. Although, talking to Rachel probably wasn't the best way to keep from wanting to drink quickly.

Rachel drained the rest of her glass before responding. She was pretty sure that was number four. Or five? She didn't remember. Which meant she needed to move on to beer. "Hey, can you hand me one of those?" She ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah, sorry about that." She paused for a while. "Finn is the only person I still talk to anymore."

"Sure." Quinn selected another beer, taking the same precautions, then opened it for Rachel. "Your drink, ma'am." She passed her the drink. "I think that's just how things go. I only ever really talk to Puck, and that's only over Facebook most of the time." The thought of her friend made her smile, though. They'd stayed close, despite the fact that they only actually saw each other maybe once a year.

When Rachel took the beer, her fingers grazed over Quinn's. "How is Puck? I haven't seen him in a year or so." There was a hint of something in her voice. Bitterness? Anger? Resentment?

"He's good. He's in a band?" It wasn't really a question. "I guess they're getting a lot of gigs. He's supposed to be getting a business degree at... UC Santa Barbara." The whole time, Quinn's eyes were on Rachel's hand, wrapped around the beer bottle.

Slim fingers drew patters in the condensation on the bottle, Rachel nodded. "Good. Him going to college. Good for him." She left it at that. "What about you, how's Columbia?"

"It's..." _Come on, Fabray, at least look at her._ "... good. It's really good. I'm doing a whole English major thing, because I really have no idea what I want to do. So... I ran with that. We'll see, I guess. Right now, I've been working the piano bar scene. Playing and singing. It's fun. And the tips are good. I like to think that means I'm good at it. Or it's because I'm pretty." She smiled at the last bit, because it was meant to be a joke.

"It's because you're pretty. Or, I'm sure that doesn't hurt. I've worked with some of those piano bar ladies, and man, you are outta their league." She smiled. "English major, I can see it. The major for those who don't know what else to do." She reached over her her heeled foot and nudged Quinn's calf. "Kidding." It was the third time Rachel had touched Quinn first that evening.

"Ha, very funny, Berry. But it's true. I just... have no idea. I'm just kind of in love with the city and I don't know what to do with that, you know?" The opening of the bottle hesitated in front of Quinn's mouth, like she wasn't quite ready to drink. "You look really good." Then she drank.

Rachel beamed at Quinn, like she used to when someone would compliment her singing when they were younger. "Thank you! I thought about knee socks... but it was too warm." She grinned to show she was kidding around. "So do you." She took a sip of her own beer.

_Damn, those knee socks._ "I don't know... maybe you should have worn them. Could attract a whole subset of guys." Quinn's eyes traveled Rachel's body, under the guise of taking in her outfit. "I mean, that dress is obviously missing something. Maybe... a sweater vest?" She hid her smirk behind her beer.

Rachel titled her head back and laughed at that. "Oh god. I wish someone would have just slapped me in high school! I dressed like a moron." She shook her head, grinning. "I think I still have a sweater vest or two." She looked at Quinn. "You still have your Cheerio uniform? I swear I don't remember you in anything else for what, almost two years?"

"You were a pretty cute moron." The words were out before she could stop them. Whatever. It was harmless, right? Quinn laughed at the uniform question. "No way. After the baby and everything, I had no desire to put it back on. Puck tried to get me to a couple times but... no way." She shook her head. "Plus, I just... wasn't... I'm not that girl anymore, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm not really knee socks girl anymore either," was Rachel's reply. She let the first part roll around in her booze soaked brain for a bit. "You hear anything from the couple that adopted her? If I remember correctly, it was an open adoption. Like, you can visit and stuff?" Rachel hadn't been super involved in the baby stuff after she'd broken the news to Finn, but for pretty much that whole year it was all anyone in Glee talked about.

Her next statement was random for their conversation, but Rachel had been thinking on it for a while. "I'm glad you still sing, with the piano bar stuff. It was a waste when you dropped out of Glee, you had an amazing voice."

Quinn lit up a little talking about the girl. "Yeah. She's doing great. Her parents, Tom and Barrett, are just the sweetest guys. And, she's absolutely adorable." She got lost in the thought for a moment, it was bittersweet, knowing Madison had such a great life without her. "They send pictures and stuff. I try to get up there once a year... they're upstate. I think next time Puck wants to go. Maybe for her birthday. She'll be five in April."

She had a hard time meeting Rachel's eyes when the topic switched. "I just had to... focus on school. Academic scholarship was the only was I was gonna get out, you know? _You_ were always the one with the amazing voice."

Rachel paused. "Your daughter is being raised by two guys?" She grinned at that. "Oh wow. That's... so amusing on so many levels." She looked over at Quinn. "Yeah, that's what you told me back then. About the concentrating on school. I am pretty sure you never told me I had an amazing voice." She took a long sip of beer. "Which, thanks by the way."

"I know, right? I hope she reminds everyone about her two gay dads, every chance she gets." Quinn offered a teasing smirk. She had a solid buzz going on. Maybe a little more than that. "I never told you that before? About your voice? _Fuck_ , I'm sorry. Because... you just tore it up every chance you got. Sectionals? That first year? Absolutely amazing."

For the first time in years, a blush crept over Rachel's face at the compliment. Rachel Berry had been, a star in Lima, Ohio. But in New York City, at NYU, she was barely above average. She wasn't even close to special. "I still think Sectionals was one of the best days of my life. That sounds dumb, cause we won bigger that year. But that moment? When we were all together... it felt real, ya know?" She took another sip, her head a little blurry. "I'm not so much tearing it up here. I'm barely getting out of the chorus line." She took a long drink, almost done with the beer. "I guess I know how it feels now, to stand in the back and sway like props."

By now, they were standing next to each other, both leaning back against the same railing. Quinn bumped her shoulder against Rachel. "You'll get there. You've always had that drive. If you survived McKinley and... everything..." _Slushies. Name calling. Dirty pictures._ "You can make it happen out here." She look another lengthy drink. "I used to play a lot of open mic nights. Trust me, yeah, there are a lot of people who sound good, but also a lot of them just _think_ they do. It's sometimes worse than the talent search parts of American Idol."

Their arms were touching, but Quinn didn't move away.

Rachel didn't move away either. She shrugged a little though. "I think I've lost some of it. That drive." She laughed. "Why else would I be at a party like this? Halfway drunk and just looking for someone to go home with." She said the last part like it was no big deal. Her idea of romance died after Finn.

Quinn stared down at their feet, the white tips of her Converse sticking out from under the hem of her jeans, Rachel's strappy heels that capped off the serious amount of leg she was showcasing in that dress. "Is that..." ... _really why you're here?_ "...a tattoo on your foot?"

Rachel looked down at her feet like she didn't know it was there. "Oh! Yeah, it is. I have a few now. That one is my favorite, though." She lifted her leg up some to show Quinn the word _Imagine_ scrawled across her left foot. She was now balancing on one heeled foot and swayed some. She automatically grabbed onto Quinn's shoulder to steady herself. "Like it?"

"Yeah. It's cool. I don't think I could... handle the needle part of it." Her arm slipped around Rachel's waist to steady her, even though the railing behind them was doing most of the work at holding them both up. "Where are the other ones?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, Ms. Fabray." Rachel's eyes sparkled with amusement. "I think the only other one I can show you is this..." She turned her body to face the railing, then put her heel on it to balance. She hiked up her skirt high and showed Quinn the gold star on her inner thigh. "You _have_ to get that one."

"Wow, that's... that's the one you _can_ show me?" Rachel teetered a bit with her foot still up on the rail. Quinn grabbed the brunette's shoulder with one hand and her raised knee with the other. "Looks... good... though." She wondered if Rachel knew the other connotations about being a Gold Star, even though she knew neither of them were. Gold Stars. Like that. Unless you could reclaim it. Like they used to talk about at church with the whole second virginity and abstinence thing. Why was she thinking about all this _now_? And, right now, she had absolutely no idea just _how much_ time had passed while she was standing there, staring at Rachel, holding her up.

Rachel was watching Quinn watch her. She'd always been a bit of an exhibitionist, and something was stirring in her with the way Quinn was looking at her. She remembered the rumors she heard back in high school, about Quinn having a crush on her. She couldn't remember if it had been Tina or Kurt who told her, but someone had. At the time she had not believed them, but suddenly she was wondering if there was any truth to it. "Quinn?"

"Yeah?" Quinn responded first, then realized she was _still_ staring. She carefully moved Rachel's leg from the railing, so she could stand on her own. Her hands pulled back and she folded her arms in front of her, trying to keep herself in check. They'd been carrying on okay and Quinn didn't want to jinx the evening just because she had some crazy longstanding crush on a girl from high school.

Rachel put her foot down and turned to face Quinn. "Wanna get outta here?"

_Did she mean_...? It didn't matter. "Yes. I do."

Rachel smiled. "Come on." She took Quinn's hand and tugged her down the stairs.

There was a strong desire to finish her beer as quickly as possible, which Quinn did as she followed Rachel down the steps, then casually tossed the bottle into the bushes.

Rachel finished her beer and tossed it into the grass, then waved down a cab, climbing in.

The sight of the small brunette downing her beer, chucking the bottle, and hailing a cab all in a smooth series of motions and all while _wearing that dress_ , made Quinn want to hurry up and get... wherever they were going. "My roommate's at this party all night. If you wanna go to my place."

Rachel gave a nod towards the cab driver to have Quinn tell him her address. "Sure."

Quinn told the driver to head to Columbia, requesting the street closest to her dorm. Rachel hadn't moved all the way over when they'd gotten in the cab so there wasn't really any space between them, especially when Quinn had to lean closer to the driver to repeat her address.

Rachel still didn't move over, her bare leg pressed against Quinn's leg. "You still live on campus? That's kinda cute." She grinned at that.

For some reason, that made Quinn blush. "It's... part of the scholarship thing..." She glanced down at their legs, then followed up to their arms, which were just as close as their legs, then found herself looking right at Rachel. And maybe it was the multiple amount of drinks, or the years of unrequited... whatever, or the fact that they were already headed back to her room to... but she couldn't look away.

Rachel was drunk, and lonely, and the way Quinn looked at her... that was enough for her. She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

Quinn sighed into the kiss, her hand coming up to Rachel's cheek. It stayed simple for a moment, just warm lips pressed together, then mouths opened slightly, and the blonde was pretty sure she could taste the vodka on the other girl.

Rachel's hand moved to tangle in Quinn's hair, deepening the kiss. She shifted closer and slipped her tongue into Quinn's mouth.

Quinn's other hand pawed at the front of Rachel's dress, not really grabbing at anything but the fabric at this point. Her tongue moved against Rachel's, the fact that she was currently making out with Rachel Berry repeating itself in the back of her mind.

Rachel let out a soft sound into her mouth. It's been a while, since someone has kissed her like **this**. Like they want to be kissing **her** not just... kissing someone. She broke the kiss, breathing hard. "Quinn..." She moaned softly.

"Uh huh?" Quinn's breathing was heavy and once Rachel pulled back, the blonde couldn't being herself to stop looking at the brunette's lips.

Rachel's voice was thick. "When did you start kissing girls?" She kissed her bottom lip.

"Freshman year of college. Right on schedule." Quinn felt the haze of desire settling in on her already intoxicated state. "What about you?"

Rachel smirked just a little. "Eighth grade music camp." She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, nibbling on it.

"Does that count? Because I kissed a few at Cheer Camp, summer before freshman year. But that was just practice. Supposedly." Quinn realized she was rambling. "I think college was just when I admitted I liked it."

Rachel laughed softly. "Yeah? Well, good." She leaned in and kissed her neck.

The cab slowed to the stop and Quinn had to pull herself away from Rachel enough to hand him the fare. She grabbed the brunette's hand and led her up the sidewalk to her residence hall.

There was a giggle and she followed the blonde up to her building.

" _Shit._ " Quinn felt her pockets for her key card. "Oh, wait. Here it is." She shot a sideways glance at Rachel, then giggled back. "I might be a little bit drunk." The card slid through the slot and the door opened. Her hand was still wrapped around Rachel's when she led her into the building and down the hall.

Rachel's voice was soft and she kissed Quinn's neck, bumping into her some.

Quinn fumbled with her room key, then unlocked the door. She pulled Rachel inside and led her to the bedroom. _No turning back now, Fabray._ Her back was against the door as she leaned to push it shut.

Rachel didn't even look at her room. She turned around to face Quinn, cupped her cheeks, and kissed her hard.

_Rachel Berry is kissing me in my room_. This was the mantra that rolled through Quinn's mind. It was something she'd thought about since high school, something she'd desperately wanted. And part of her warned that it probably wouldn't end that well once morning came around. But Quinn didn't care. Right now, her hands slid down the sides of Rachel's dress, her lips and tongue pressed against the brunette's mouth.

Rachel moaned against her lips, pressing her smaller body against Quinn's. She dug her fingers into Quinn's hair and kissed her passionately. She was horny, she was ready, and she had Quinn Fabray wanting her. Somebody was wanting her.

Quinn may have daydreamed about this moment for the better part of the last three years, but she knew better than to believe it was going to be romance and slow dances. She grabbed the bottom hem of her t-shirt and tugged it up over her head before tossing it aside. Her hands grabbed Rachel's hips and walked her back toward the bed. If this was going to happen, Quinn wasn't wasting anytime.

Rachel let out a moan, looking at Quinn's body. She wasted no time in pulling her tight dress up over her head, leaving her in matching black underwear and bra. She shook her hair out a little, and ran her fingers over Quinn's stomach.

Absently, Quinn cursed her mismatched underwear. They were both cute pieces, just not coordinated. It was one of those nights she hadn't planned on getting lucky and hadn't put much though into what to wear. Her attention was immediately directed to just how _fucking hot_ Rachel Berry looked standing in nothing but her underwear. She tugged at her own belt and shoved her jeans down, kicking them off onto the floor.

_Fuck_. Rachel thought, looking at Quinn naked. She was... wow. That was the only word Rachel could think of. When she got home later, she would have to tell her roommate about the _smoking hot blonde_ she scored with. She cupped her face again, kissing her even harder, skin touching skin as she pressed her body against Quinn's.

Rachel had her shoes off, now, so Quinn had the height advantage. She kept kissing, and eased the girl back onto the bed. Her hand crept around and easily unhooked the bra, a skill picked up and well-practiced since she'd been at Columbia. Just because she'd had Rachel in the back of her mind didn't mean she wasn't putting herself out there. Girls were actually pretty easy to pick up, especially working late nights in piano bars.

Rachel slid her hand down Quinn's back and into her underwear, giving her ass a squeeze. She was very good at getting where she wanted to be. She pressed a thigh up into Quinn's center, nails digging into her ass.

The bra was tossed aside and Quinn trailed her hand over a breast, cupping it, then rolling the nipple between her fingers. She ground against Rachel's thigh and gave a light groan. Her lips moved down to where her hand been and she took the dark nipple into her mouth. Meanwhile, her hand slid down between the smaller girl's legs, pressing against the damp panties.

A low moan came from deep inside her throat and she arched up. "Ohgod." Rachel kissed down Quinn's neck, nipping at the skin. She slid her hand around Quinn's hip and found her mound, cupping it carefully.

Quinn's hand moved up to slide under the waistband, then back down toward the slick wetness. She dragged her fingers through the warmth. Her body ground against Rachel's hand.

"Quinn..." Was the word that escaped her mouth at the same time that her fingers slipped into Quinn's folds. _Fuck, she's wet. She's really wet. For me. Fuck. I hope she's not still... no. That's too conceited even for you, Rachel. You're not that special. You never have been. **No one wants you.**_

That thought was punctuated by Rachel pushing two fingers deep inside of Quinn.

" _Fuck_ , Rachel." Quinn matched the motion and pushed two of her own fingers into the brunette. Her hips rocked, trying to get Rachel as deep in her as possible. Maybe if she'd been more sober, she would have though about what things meant, but right now, she just wanted to kiss her again, while they were inside each other.

Rachel groaned into the kiss, rocking her hips. Her fingers moved faster inside of Quinn, curling and twisting. She sucked on Quinn's tongue, adding a third finger to the mix. Rachel refused to think about who she was fucking, why she was doing this, what it **meant** and why, for the first time in years, Rachel Berry finally **felt something real**.

_This.felt.so.good._ "Ohmygod." Quinn moaned as Rachel pushed three fingers in. Meanwhile, her own hand was pumping away, her thumb seeking out the brunette's clit. There were emotions trying to surface, years of thinking about the very person who was, right now, writhing against her. There were things she wanted to say, but couldn't. Instead, she just said, " _Harder_."

Harder was something Rachel could do, harder was something Rachel LIKED to do. She did something she normally wouldn't pull out on a first time (first? only? always?) and added a fourth finger, making sure Quinn was okay and adjusting before she kept thrusting inside of her, pushing a little harder with each thrust. Once she was sure Quinn could handle it, she bit down on the blonde's lip and added her thumb. Her hand was small and she easily fit her **entire hand** up to her wrist inside the other girl. Rachel panted out. "That good?"

Quinn couldn't even respond. Not verbally, anyway. Instead, she let out a low groan that climbed to a whine as her body shuddered hard around Rachel's hand. "Fuck. Fuckfuck _fuck_."

Rachel smiled some at that. She was careful, moving her hand slowly in and out of Quinn. She didn't want to hurt her. She twisted her hand around a bit to see what that would do.

"Shit, _Rachel_." The name was a growl coming from Quinn. Her hips bucked hard, her body out of control from the booze and the fact that Rachel was doing _that_. Brunette hair tangled in her hand and she pulled hard at it as she felt her body contract and release.

Rachel stilled her hand as soon as she felt Quinn coming, slipping two fingers out so that Quinn didn't get hurt as she tightened around her hand. Rachel moans low in her ear. "Fuck." There was so much more she wanted to say. _That was amazing. You are amazing. I want to feel that more. Please let me keep doing this._ Instead, she kissed Quinn's neck.

Somewhere in the midst of everything, Quinn had reluctantly abandoned what she was doing to Rachel, for lack of concentration. She flung her head back on the pillow, breath heavy, eyes on the ceiling. "Don't tell me you learned that at Music Camp."

"No, I learned that backstage for Children of Eden." Rachel slowly pulled the rest of her hand out, a smirk on her face. "Are you okay? I probably should have _asked_ first..."

"I'm fine." Quinn twitched. " _Fuck_. I think." She grinned, then gripped the back of Rachel's head, kissing her again. Her body shifted so she rolled over, putting herself on top of the brunette. "I've learned some stuff in college." She ghosted her mouth over Rachel's neck, then across her collarbone. A hand cupped one of her breasts while Quinn's mouth moved further down, over her chest, then her stomach. She glanced up, just to make sure there was no definite signal to stop what she was doing.

Rachel's signal to her was a whimper and her hips raising up. "Please, Quinn." She begged softly, her fingers tangling in blonde hair, holding tightly. Her thighs parted and she gave the other girl full access to her.

With a grin, Quinn hooked her fingers in Rachel's panties and quickly removed them. She slid her hands up the girl's inner thighs then up to her hips, pulling her closer. There was a slight hesitation, only because Quinn realized she was about to _fucking go down_ on Rachel Berry, then wondered how weird she was for constantly thinking about the girl's full name while she was having sex with her. Her head lowered and she ran her tongue over the glistening warmth, unable to stop the slight whimper in her throat at the taste of her.

"OhmyfuckinggodQuinn." Was what came out as Rachel's hip rocked up, hand tightening in her hair. Her lips pulled open and she looked down her body to see it. Rachel fucking wanting to see _Quinn Fabray go down on her_. She watched, equally turned on by the actual tongue action and the _sight_ of it.

Quinn caught Rachel's eyes, the knowledge that she was watching sent a fresh flood of warmth between her own legs. But right now, she was focused on the task at hand. She worked the tip of her tongue over the brunette's clit, looping, around it, working side to side, up and over... all with her hazel eyes on the brown ones looking down at her.

Rachel's breath caught at the look Quinn was giving her, something inside of her broke or melted or gave or clicked. She wasn't sure. But laying in _this_ bed, with that _thing_ happening to her, and _those_ eyes looking at her, something in her just changed. At the time, she didn't know what happened, just that she could not look away from those eyes as her entire body arched up and she cried out, much louder then usual. She ground her hips against Quinn's mouth, whimpering some.

It was hard not to shut her eyes and just get lost in the moment, with the movement and the noises Rachel was making. But she was looking at her somehow that felt different. One hand moved down and Quinn pushed one, then two fingers deep into her. Her lips tightened around the sensitive nub so she could suck harder. The whole time, their gaze was still locked, and Quinn could see how every push, touch, flick, nuance, reflected in those eyes. Rachel Berry always had extremely expressive eyes.

Rachel had forgotten the color of Quinn's eyes over the years, but as she stared into them now, she was started to realize how those eyes have been haunting her dreams for years. She never knew who they belonged too. But those amazing hazel eyes, perfect, were now staring at her. She started bucking harder, those thoughts in her head. She needed her release. She needed this woman to make her come. Hard. She whimpered out. "More. Harder. Everything."

Quinn groaned against the wetness, then readjusted her position slightly, pulling one of Rachel's legs up over her shoulder so she had better leverage. She worked her fingers in and out, harder and faster, still with just the two fingers at first, then added the third. Her mouth rocked against the smaller girl's center, sucking hard on the bundle of nerves, adding just a touch of teeth to the mix, while her tongue still traced patterns. She'd do whatever it took to get Rachel off. Even if that meant running through the alphabet multiple times, forward _and_ backward.

"QuinnQuinnQuinnQuinnQuinnQuinnQuinnQuinnQuinn!" Was the chant that Rachel moaned as she was tumbling towards the edge. And for the first time that night, it really dawned on her. Quinn Fabray is eating me out. _Right now. On her bed in her dorm room. **Quinn Fabray** is so much better at this then Finn **ever** was_. She cried out, arching her entire body up and suddenly it was all too much and she fell over that edge, putting her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming so loud she would wake up Quinn's neighbors.

Her free hand tightly gripped Rachel's hip as the brunette came, tongue and fingers slowing, stopping as everything calmed. Quinn wiped her mouth with her hand and her hands on the sheets, then looked up, taking in the view of Rachel Berry sprawled and spent across her bed. _Fuck, she's gorgeous._

Rachel was breathing hard and finally had closed her eyes, trying to regain control of herself. She let out a little whimper, softly. "You have been learning a lot here at school." She lifted her head a little, looking down at her. "You seduce many girls into your bed?" She was teasing a little, and a little not. She wanted to know what she was. Was she just another notch? Was she different? Rachel knew she didn't ask those things, because she didn't even know. But she was so curious. Was she the brunette Quinn fucked or would she be Rachel?

"Well, I am here on scholarship, so I'm pretty dedicated to studying." Quinn moved back up and laid next to Rachel. "I don't generally seduce _that_ many girls. And when I do, it's always just one at a time." She smirked at her in the dimly lit room, reaching down to pull the blanket up over them. Her head was propped up on one arm, so she could still take in the sight of the brunette. "You are still absolutely amazing, Rachel." _Fuck_. She'd said that one out loud.

Rachel was still mostly drunk and just kind of grinned at the girl who used to once be a friend (kinda?). "Thanks. So are you." She reached up and cupped her cheek. _Why does no one look at me like that?_ She stroked the soft skin with her thumb. "That was kinda amazing."

"Do you... have to be anywhere in the morning?" Quinn didn't want to push her luck, but it was the middle of the night and the suggestion she was about to make fell under the Safety category in her hazy mind. "Because you can stay, if you want."

"Nowhere until later. So, sure. I can stay." Rachel really didn't want to think of what that meant or how Quinn would take it. She felt like she was probably playing with fire but she was **tired** and she didn't want to get redressed right now.

"There's water in the mini-fridge if you get thirsty... and... um..." Quinn stopped herself from talking by leaning forward to kiss Rachel, again. In the morning, when all of this likely went to hell flurry of awkwardness, she at least wanted to make sure she had plenty of the good details to fall back on. In case of lonely nights, or whatever.

Rachel didn't even respond to the water comment (I mean, really?) but she did respond to the kiss. She wrapped her arm around Quinn and pulled her in closer, running her fingers through the girl's hair.

Quinn's legs tangled with Rachel's, her arm slipped around her back, subconsciously noting how their two bodies just fit together so well. There was a whimper in the kiss and she honestly couldn't tell who was making the sound. Her fingers traced the smooth skin of the brunette's back, nails lightly dragging as she just kept kissing. It was like she put the last four years into that moment, going back to that night with Puck, when she'd said the name of the person she was with, _right now_. If this, by some miracle, worked out, wouldn't that be a funny story?

Rachel was good at emptying her mind out. That was how she managed the one night stands she involved herself in now. How she smiled wider then anyone else in the back of the stage and delivered her one line with enthusiasm. By emptying out her mind, she was able to forget who she was and how her life had turned out. And that nagging feeling that a girl who once belted out Don't Rain on My Parade on an hour's notice and got a standing ovation would be _so disappointed_ in her. So, emptying her mind out of what this was, what it meant, and how she felt was how she found herself fitting perfectly into Quinn's arms, against her body, her tongue tracing the other girl's mouth.

Quinn felt damp heat against her thigh, and she leaned into it. Her own center was pressed into Rachel's leg. Still kissing, groping, she rocked her body against the smaller girl's. Maybe this would help her get over everything, maybe this would be enough, maybe this would stop the dreams, the thoughts, the what if's. Maybe one night with Rachel Berry was enough. Maybe. But judging from everything that was surfacing right now, probably not.

"Please tell me you're up for more." Was the plea that came from from Rachel's lips. She was rocking a little frantically against Quinn's thigh, needing more. ' _I just want everything too much,_ ' were the words that echoed through her mind.

"Definitely," Quinn nodded, her hand gripping the girl's hip to push their bodies together. Her body was slick with a light sheen of sweat, because of the blanket, because of everything. She flexed and ground against Rachel, her teeth catching lips, briefly, then letting them go to return to kissing.

Rachel couldn't remember the last time she was actually begging for sex from someone. Normally, once she got off the once, she was fine with leaving. But she could not stop with Quinn. She was pretty sure she was leaving a pool of wetness on Quinn's leg because Rachel was unsure if she had ever been wetter then she was at that exact moment in her life. The brunette could feel her hair sticking to her forehead, her neck, her back. She sucked on Quinn's tongue lightly, letting out a soft whimper.

Breathing became a labored process, heavy and panting, as Quinn worked herself against Rachel, keeping her own leg tight against the ever increasing wetness. She groaned as their bodies rocked, as she pressed her forehead against the brunette's in brief break for oxygen.

"Come for me, Quinn. Please. I want you." She sucked in some air. "To come against my leg." She locked her nearly black eyes onto Quinn's (always perfect) hazel eyes. "Please." She pressed her thigh harder into Quinn, moaning a little. "Please."

_Sure. Yes. Absolutely. I can do that. All you had to do was ask. I love you._ That was the immediately series of thoughts that rolled through Quinn's mind at Rachel's very insistent request. None of them were actually verbalized, through. Instead, she opted for the old standby, " _Fuck_. Ohgod." Her grip on the brunette grew tighter as her own body wracked and shuddered, hard, against the other girl, coming against her leg.

When she did that, when Quinn fucking came on command Rachel just lost it and came with her, her small body wracking against the blonde's legs. "Fuckfuckfuckfuck."

Quinn felt Rachel's orgasm, even though she was right in the middle of her own when it happened. The fact that they'd just come together forced a low moan from her throat. That was probably one of the hottest and most intimate things she'd ever experienced. She clung to the brunette as the sensation washed over her, then rolled onto her back, so she could catch her breath. "Holy shit."

Rachel untangled herself a little, to cool down and let her heart slow. "Fuck." Was all she was able to muster. "That was. Fuck."

"Yeah. I think that's what they're calling it, now." Quinn shut her eyes and attempted to steady herself. Between all the sex and booze, she certainly wasn't grounded. "Fuck," she echoed.

Rachel's eyes felt heavy and she let them slide shut. "Mmhmm." She curled onto her side and curled into Quinn's side. "Mmm... sleep."

Quinn turned her head and placed a lazy kiss on Rachel's forehead. Her own eyes didn't want to stay open, so she settled into her pillow and let the exhaustion or afterglow or drunken haze, whatever it was, wash over her.

Rachel woke up early. She'd always been an early riser, and that didn't change in college. She rolled over and saw that she was not in her bedroom. Then she saw it. Blonde hair. _Quinn Fabray? Did I just wake up in Quinn Fabray's bed?_ She did **not** want to deal with this. Not at all. She was not in a place to handle remembering what had happened last night. She carefully rolled out of the bed, trying not to make a sound. _I cannot put on the same dress I had on last night._ She carefully opened one of Quinn's drawers and found a pair of flannel pj pants and a old Columbia shirt with a bleach stain on it. She quickly pulled those on and tucked her messy hair up in a sloppy pony tail. She'd have to deal with wearing her heels, because stealing Quinn's shoes seemed low. She gathered up her clothes and then stopped at the door, looking at Quinn, still asleep in her bed. Her eyes watered. _Oh god Quinn, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I knew... all last night I knew. I could feel it. I could feel what you felt and I'm so sorry I did this to you. To us. I can't do this. I can't. I can't feel this. Not for you. Not for anything. God, I'm so sorry. I don't love you. I don't love **me** , I **can't** love you. I'm so sorry_. She moved to the blonde in a few short steps, and carefully pressed a kiss on her forehead, then she nearly ran from the room.

-

When she finally got out of bed, Quinn didn't bother looking for a note or checking the whiteboard for a phone number. She knew there was nothing to find. Instead, she spent the rest of the semester searching for her favorite Columbia t-shirt. She even got into a fight with her roommate over it. That, more than anything, was what she _let herself_ get upset over that year. Anything else that might have happened was just a fluke, one night among many. It wouldn't matter in a few years. She'd be over it. Over her.

_Wouldn't she?_

_._

_._

_._


	4. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel disappears after their first encounter in four years, only to show up, as a last minute replacement at Quinn's next gig.

**Title** : Breathe (In the Mood for a Melody: Part Two)  
**Author** :[](https://kben.livejournal.com/profile)[ **kben**](https://kben.livejournal.com/) and [](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/)**meggygurl**  
**Rating** : PG-13, angst  
**Length** : 7000  
**Spoilers** : Sectionals  
**Summary** : Rachel disappears after their first encounter in four years, only to show up, as a last minute replacement at Quinn's next gig.  
_**Notes** : This is part two of the future!fic In the Mood for a Melody series. If you enjoy a multimedia experience, the songs featured in this fic are: You're So Vain, 100 Years, If You Could Only See, and Breathe (2AM)_

* * *

  
The video was cute, but Quinn couldn't really bring herself to sit through the entire thing. Still, the blonde haired, brown eyed little girl third from the left was adorably determined through the entire number.

It was common for Madison's dads to send videos of her latest endeavors. Now that she was a little bit older, her interests were increasing. Currently, it was dance, specifically tap.

A Skype notification popped up from the corner of the computer screen. It was Puck. Quinn accepted the call and in a moment, his face took up part of the screen.

"You watching it?" she asked.

"Yep. We made a pretty cute kid, you know."

"I'm not making any more babies with you, so stop thinking about it."

"I didn't ask." His eyes shifted from the webcam as he looked back over at the video. "She kind of reminds of me Rachel."

Quinn just nodded.

"What?"

"I saw her the other night."

"WHAT?"

"We had to work together."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I'm telling you right now. It was only two days ago."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"You suck at conversation."

"Nothing happened. We drank, we sang, we drank, we sang, we got paid, she left."

"How is she?"

"Tired. Hates the world. Still sings the hell out of anything."

"You've still got it bad, don't you?"

"She left with a blonde."

"Ouch."

"Whatever. I'm sure it'll be another four years or something before I see her again."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I know you, Fabray. You internalize."

"Look who's talking, Puckerman."

"It's sexy when you use my whole name."

"I can start calling you Noah, if that turns you on."

"Don't you dare. Hey..."

"What?"

"So... I'll be in town later this week."

"You're about to ask if you can crash here, aren't you?"

"Um, yes?"

"Last time I let you stay here, you defiled my shower with some groupie you picked up after open mic night."

"It was the only private room available."

" _And_ you defiled the bathmat."

"And the counter."

"Ew."

"Oh, shut up. First of all, I didn't defile anything, because I heard you in there the night before. I'm not the only one with a taste for groupies. And secondly, you got your revenge when you knocked on the door and said, 'When you're done with that, you need to sign your daughter's birthday card.'"

"I didn't want you to forget."

"You're so sweet."

"I know."

"Okay, babe, I'll see you in a few days."

"Fine. I love your big dumb face."

"Right back at you, Fabray."

\--

Another gig, this time it was a birthday party, someone's twenty-first. Again, it was a joint performance. Quinn briefly considered the chances that Rachel might be the other singer, but the chalkboard outside the pub actually said "Quinn Fabray and Emily Radcliffe" so, it definitely wasn't Rachel.

She ordered her regular drink, then waited at the piano for the other singer to show up. Just for fun, Quinn went ahead and addressed the crowd. She'd worked with Emily before and knew she wouldn't mind.

"Hey, everyone. Who's ready to have a good time tonight?" A couple people have an agreeable whoop. "Okay, I'm asking again after a couple more rounds and expect more noise than that." She winked at the table where the birthday girl sat with her friends. "What do you say we kick off with a classic tribute to narcissism?"

She started to play the opening chords and a few more people cheered.

_You walked into the party / Like you were walking onto a yacht / Your hat strategically dipped below one eye / Your scarf it was apricot / You had one eye in the mirror / As you watched yourself gavotte / And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner / They'd be your partner_

"And, come on, I know you guys know this," she encouraged the crowd to join in on the chorus.

_You're so vain / You probably think this song is about you_

Rachel entered the room, and this time she's put a little more effort into her appearance. A tight spaghetti strapped shirt, with her black bra clearly showing, the tops of her (fuller then when she was sixteen) breasts plunging out. The skirt was black with silver lines and about the same length as the skirts she used to wear in high school. Her black boots went up to her knees, the heels giving her more height then she naturally had. Her hair was straight and she'd gotten bangs over the last week. She was out a solid $100 and one free performance at a bachelorette party in order to land this gig. When she heard the familiar voice filtering through the room, she grinned. And when she focused on the words, she actually laughed a little.

It's like Quinn knew she was coming. But she couldn't have. She'd only just bribed Emily that morning. Rachel walked to the stage. She didn't even make eye contact with the blonde, she just picked up the second mic and jumped in on the verse.

_You had me several years ago, when I was still part naive / Well you said that we made such a pretty pair and that you would never leave / But, you gave away the things you loved and of them was me / I had some dreams there were clouds in my coffee / Clouds in my coffee_

"A little louder now, come on!" Rachel said. Her stage presence was even better than it had been the weekend before, she tossed out winks and blew kisses to the crowd right and left.

It was a good thing the crowd had jumped in on that first chorus, because Quinn stopped singing for a couple beats when she saw Rachel. One, she wasn't supposed to be there. Two, she looked absolutely stunning. Three, of all the songs for her to walk in on, this was the worst. Or the best.

The third verse blew by with Quinn absently singing the lyrics. She realized she'd zoned out and refocused for the final chorus.

_You're so vain / You probably think this song is about you / You're so vain / I'll bet you think this song is about you / Don't you? Don't you?_

By now, the crowd was warmed up, and more people had arrived for the party. Quinn pushed the mic away from her mouth.

"Hey." She finally made eye contact with Rachel. "I... thought Emily was coming."

"Emily called in sick. I owned her a favor, so here I am." Rachel leaned against the piano, her dark eyes sparkling, her lips formed a soft smile. "Hey. Nice song choice. Did you know I would be here? Or, would that be vain of me to say?" She winked at the blonde.

_Is she flirting with me?_ "I honestly had no idea. So... definitely vain." Quinn winked back. She was glad this was a birthday and not a wedding, so there would be less emphasis on the love songs.

"So, what's the song list? I don't even know." Rachel laughed a little. "You might have to help me get through this, Fabray." Rachel's hip jutted out and she chewed on her bottom lip in thought. "Someone's twenty-first, right? So there's booze. You need something from the bar?"

Quinn glanced at her glass, which wasn't empty. "Yeah, I'll take another. And there's no specific list, just a request for older stuff. Piano bar classics." She let herself look over Rachel's outfit. "You look good. Like really, really good. Maybe it's because you're actually smiling." The blonde flashed her own grin at the brunette.

The diva laughed, flicking her hair over her shoulder. "And because you can see most of my thigh." Rachel said, her tone flirty. "I like parties better then weddings. More fun." She looked at the blonde, her eyes lingering.

_And because I knew what I was getting into this time. God Quinn... I'm so sorry._

"Same as last time? Glenlivet, right?" Rachel set the mic down and looked expectantly at Quinn.

_Holy shit, she's so hot_. "Yeah, thanks." Quinn glanced down and cursed herself for opting to go casual tonight, with a jersey knit sweater dress with leggings and her favorite, but well worn, pair of black boots. _And she remembered my order. Knock it off Fabray, it's not that difficult of a drink._ She looked back up in hope that Rachel couldn't tell that she'd just been internally arguing with herself.

Rachel smiled at her, a hint of knowing in the gesture. She moved toward the bar, her hips swinging as she walked. Most of the men in the room and a few of the women watched her as she ordered herself a vodka cranberry and Quinn's scotch. She didn't want to get drunk tonight, but she needed something to hold up there. She looked away from the bar and truly let herself look at the other woman. _Fuck, Quinn is beautiful. What am I even doing here?_ But Rachel knew why she'd lost money to do this gig. She had to try again. She had to see her again. Because her normal round of blondes hadn't done it for her this time. She needed the real thing.

While Rachel was at the bar, Quinn pulled the mic back to her. "So, we're all here for Julie's birthday tonight. Where's Julie?" Julie's friends all waved and pointed at the birthday girl. "Everyone, it's not just Julie's birthday, it's her _twenty-first_ birthday. Big milestone. Look out, girl, after this, time flies." Piano bar wisdom was one of those things Quinn loved about these gigs. She was only twenty-five, but people seemed to believe whatever she said because she had her hands on the keys and her mouth on a microphone.

She started the next song, knowing Rachel would be back from the bar at any second. On nights without a specific playlist, Quinn liked to keep things moving so people didn't get bored.

_I'm 15 for a moment / Caught in between 10 and 20 / And I'm just dreaming / Counting the ways to where you are_

Rachel set Quinn's drink down next to her almost finished one, then picked up the nearly empty glass and shot down the last of it, smirking at Quinn and setting it back down, a lipstick mark evident on the glass. She picked up the mic and jump in on the chorus.

_15 there's still time for you / Time to buy and time to lose / 15, there's never a wish better than this / When you only got 100 years to live_

Fifteen. Back when Quinn was a Cheerio. Not just a Cheerio, but the Captain. She was the first freshman to hold the position. That was practically half her life ago. She wondered where's she'd be now if that path hadn't been interrupted. Probably not here, singing with Rachel Berry. She tried to remember when her crush on Rachel even started.

_15 there's still time for you / Time to buy, Time to lose yourself / Within a morning star_

Rachel couldn't think of who she was at fifteen, she couldn't even remember. But twenty-two, she could remember that. She could remember that that was the year she started to sober up. She stopped doing any drugs that you couldn't buy (legally) at grocery store.

_I'm 99 for a moment / Dying for just another moment / And I'm just dreaming / Counting the ways to where you are_

Rachel knew she should leave this poor woman alone, that she'd already done too much, but she couldn't help turning her eyes to the blonde on that line, and for a moment, she was singing to her. Not to the crowd or the birthday girl, but to Quinn.

Quinn could feel the change in energy. Last time, all the singing had just been singing. Or, at least, they pretended it was. This time, Rachel was obviously directing something toward her. The blonde wasn't exactly sure how she felt about it, other than the fact that it made her stomach flip in a way it hadn't since she was twenty one and pressed up against the door of her dorm room.

_Every day's a new day... / 15 there's still time for you / Time to buy and time to choose / Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this / When you only got 100 years to live_

The song came to an end, and Quinn, in an effort to not think about what just happened, pushed right into the next song. She kept doing this through the rest of the set, until it was time for a break.

Rachel kept up easily, knowing all the songs Quinn played. They were all fairly basic, and the ones that weren't were radio played enough that Rachel knew all the words, anyway. Once they wrapped up that set she downed the rest of her drink and took a chance. She'd really needed that drink to do what she was about to do. She sat on the piano bench next to Quinn, and turned her face to the blonde, her dark bangs falling into her eyes. She wasn't used to them yet. Rachel really wanted to say something that would impress Quinn, or make her forgive her. Or understand her. She thought of a hundred things to say.

"Hey," was what came out.

"Hey," was Quinn's reply. She managed to follow it up with, "How was your week?" Okay, so it wasn't the world's greatest follow up.

Rachel hesitated. "Kinda weird. What about yours?" She wasn't sure if I _couldn't stop thinking about you while my fingers were buried in other women_ was really a good opening line.

Quinn shrugged. "Average. Puck's supposed to be in town tomorrow. So, that may boost it up to above average." She smiled a little.

Rachel's eyebrows pushed together as she tried to remember. "Puck? Oh god! Noah Puckerman?" She laughed a little. "I haven't thought about him in years. Wow. There is a blast from the past. How is he?" She paused and her face fell suddenly. "Wait. Are you guys like, together now?"

"Me and Puck?" Quinn laughed, hard. "No. No way. I mean, he's pretty much my best friend, but... no. Not since..." She almost said " _not since high school_ " but they'd hooked up a couple times in college when Quinn had felt exceptionally lonely when he'd come to visit. Despite the fact that she was not into guys, really, at all, he'd been comfortable and safe. And he hadn't seemed to mind letting her use him to make herself feel better. "Not for a really long time. He's good. Still out in California. He keeps bouncing around from band to band, but he's been with this last one for a while. I think bands are like girls to him. Hard to settle down with just one."

"Still a player then?" Rachel said with a smirk. She shook her head in amusement. She'd carried a torch for Puck back in high school, but he didn't fit into her **plan**. So she'd dismissed it. Finn was her prince charming. Or, seventeen year old Rachel had believed that. Now, nearly a decade later, Rachel no longer believed in a prince charming. She believed you made your own magic and no one could save you from the dragon.

"Pretty much. Though he's been really focused on his music. I keep telling him to just go solo." Quinn shrugged. "But, does he ever listen? No." She picked up her glass and sipped on the drink. "Are you, um..." She was about to ask if she was seeing anyone, but then remembered watching her leave with that blonde at the wedding party. Not that it meant she wasn't. Or maybe she'd gotten married to that blonde between then and now. "Anything new since I saw you last?"

Rachel shook her head. "Nope. Same as always. We did a show last night, my theatre company, WOW Cafe Theatre. We're doing a production of the Vagina Monologues. I am doing _Reclaiming Cunt_ and T _he Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy._ "

Quinn nearly choked on her scotch. "Oh. Wow. That sounds... really super gay." She could feel her mouth turning up into a smile. Finally, she relaxed a little. _It was just Rachel Berry_. Except, to Quinn Fabray, there was no such thing as _just_ Rachel Berry.

Rachel grinned. "Isn't it?" Her hand dropped to rest on Quinn's knee. "Listen. I owe you like, twenty apologies. I don't even know where to begin. But, I'm sorry. For. Well. Everything." She pulled her lower lip into her mouth, chewing some. She looked really nervous. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm asking for it anyway."

"I..." Quinn looked down at the hand on her knee. She definitely had not been expecting this. Not the touch, not the apology, not the closeness and the smell of Rachel's shampoo and leave-in conditioner and whatever else she'd put in her hair. "It was a long time ago, you know." She glanced past the brunette out into the crowd. "I'm gonna grab another round before the next set. You want anything?"

"Oh. No. Well. A soda would be fine." Rachel pulled her hand back like it'd been burned and placed her hands in her lap. She looked away from the blonde, not wanting the other girl to see how much that stung her. Rachel had hoped... she didn't know what she'd hoped for. She'd just hoped. For the first time in years, Rachel had really wanted something. Something bad enough to work for. And she felt it slipping through her fingers.

Before she stood up, Quinn reached over, grabbed Rachel's hand, and gave it a light squeeze. She honestly didn't know what to say to the apology, because it had been a long time since she'd let herself think about how much Rachel had really hurt her. But she didn't want the brunette to think she didn't at least _want_ to forgive her.

Rachel gave her a tiny, grateful smile at the touch, then watched the blonde walk away. She settled herself more onto the piano bench, her fingers slipping over the keys. She glanced back at the blonde and bit her lower lip. This was not a standard for birthdays... but they were technically on a break and Rachel knew the piano part to this song. So she took a breath.

_If you could only see the way she loves me / Then maybe you would understand / Why I feel this way about our love / And what I must do_

Rachel's fingers moved over the keys with ease. Piano had been part of her musical education her entire life, and while her passion was never in the black and white keys, she was more than adept at them. And she knew song because she'd figured out the music for a friend once a few years back and she’d never forgotten it.

_If you could only see how blue / Her eyes can be when she says / When she says she loves me_

When Quinn heard the piano, she walked right into someone because she whipped her head around so fast. Oh, _hell no_ was Rachel singing this song, _right now_. For the first time, this was personal, this was letting the music speak. And Quinn wasn't about to miss out on it. She turned back around and jumped back up on the small stage, grabbing the other mic.

_Well you got your reasons / And you got your lies / And you got your manipulations / They cut me down to size / Sayin' you love but you don't / You give your love but you won't_

Rachel had not expected Quinn to jump back on the stage, and for the first time in years, she saw Quinn Fabray, head cheerleader. She saw the girl who stood up to Sue Silvester and got Glee a full page yearbook ad. She saw the girl who dealt with a teenage pregnancy, getting kicked out of TWO homes, and having to carry Noah Puckerman's child. She saw that girl, only grown up and twice as powerful. Something deep inside Rachel burned as she looked at the girl, and sang **to her**.

_If you could only see how blue / Her eyes can be when she says / When she says she loves me_

Rachel closed her eyes here, her fingers pounding out the notes. Her head fell back a little, her hair cascading down her back. Her chest was moving rapidly as she poured herself into the singing. And there was something about being behind the piano and forcing Quinn on the other side that honestly, got Rachel off a little.

_Seems the road less traveled / Shows happiness unraveled / And you got to take a little dirt / To keep what you love / That's what you gotta do_

Rachel picked this song. She'd been the one to start playing it. For whatever reason. Quinn kept her eyes locked on the brunette behind the keys. It was a little unsettling, this role reversal. But maybe that was a good thing. And right now, Rachel's eyes were closed, so things were a little less daunting. _Maybe_.

_You're stretching out your arms / To something that's just not there / Sayin' you love where you stand / Give your heart when you can_

As they rolled into the last chorus, Rachel's eyes fluttered opened and locked on Quinn. She wasn't thinking, if she were, she would have looked away. Or never started this song. But she wasn't thinking. She was only feeling, and right now she was feeling a late 90s ballad. Her eyes were wide and dark as they searched for Quinn's.

_If you could only see the way she loves me / Then maybe you would understand / Why I feel this way about our love / And what I must do_

Rachel stopped playing for the last line, singing it a cappella.

_If you could only see how blue / Her eyes can be when she says / When she says she loves me_

The audience went absolutely insane. A few people even rose to their feet to applaud.

"Thanks, everyone. Now, really, we're going to take a little break." How Quinn managed to even get all those words out, she didn't know. She was breathing heavily and a little weak in the knees. "I'm gonna... I'll be..." The blonde glanced back toward the hand painted sign that said _Restrooms_ , then set the mic down without saying anything else. She turned and headed for the back of the bar.

There was no question what Rachel had to do now. And that was follow her. She slid off the bench and moved a few steps behind the blonde, watching her ass the whole way. Damn, she had a nice ass. Rachel vividly remembered it. Once they were in the small one stall bathroom (which was, thankfully, empty), Rachel's hand came up and locked the door so no one could get in.

_Nice song. Nice skirt. Nice parading though my dreams for the last however many years_. Quinn thought of a lot of things she could say, right now, but rather than talking, she just took Rachel's face into her hands and kissed her. If she left again tonight, at least they'd have this moment. At least they'd have that song. At least there had been an apology. At least there was more something than nothing.

Rachel's hands dropped to Quinn's waist and she turned the blonde, then backed her into the door. She trapped her there with her body, slipping her tongue into the blonde's mouth. This wasn't hesitant or unsure. This also wasn't drunk and sloppy. This was determined, goal oriented, and _fucking needed._

While this was suddenly very similar to that night, back in college, pressed between a door and Rachel Berry, it was also different. Even though the night was definitely hazy, Quinn remembered everything about it. Well, most things. The important parts, anyway. The point was, this was deliberate. This was something they both wanted, right now. But, how much? How much did Quinn want Rachel to give her? How much was asking too much?

None of these questions really mattered at the moment. The blonde eagerly met the brunette's tongue in a heated kiss, one hand tangled tightly in dark hair, the other seeking a firm grip on Rachel's waist.

The last time Rachel kissed Quinn, she'd been drunk out of her mind and just wanted to get fucked. Now... she wanted to be kissing _her_. This time, it really was about Quinn. About wanting her. About being... ready. For something.

Quinn's fingers stroked Rachel's side, just above her hip. Her mouth was still occupied with all the kissing, because kissing was better than anything else, right now. Better than singing, better than drinking, better than talk--

"Hello?" Someone knocked on the door.

The blonde froze, like she'd been caught making out in the church rectory. Not that she'd even been caught making out in a church rectory. Not more than once, anyway. After the first time, you found better places to hide.

Rachel giggled, dropping another kiss on Quinn's mouth before pulling away. "Maybe we should finish our paying gig before we both get fired? Then... can we talk? Or kiss? Or something."

"Yes. Definitely." Quinn took a breath and steadied herself. She checked the mirror, just to make sure she wasn't too disheveled. Then she grabbed Rachel for another kiss.

Rachel made a soft noise into the kiss and tangled her fingers into blonde hair. She kissed her for a long moment before breaking the kiss, almost forcefully. "Quinn... if we don't leave now, we won't." Rachel was softly panting.

"Right. Okay." Another deep breath, then Quinn turned toward the door and opened it. She figured it was best to ignore whoever was waiting outside, though she did mumble, "Sorry" as she passed them.

This was a shorter gig than the wedding they'd played the other night, so the second half of the set flew by. Usually, at these kind of events, Quinn would linger at the piano and play a few extra songs, but tonight she had motivation to draw her away from the keys.

Once the tips were collected, she handed Rachel her half. "Have a drink with me? Don't worry, I'm shifting gears to light beer. I don't plan to get smashed before we talk or anything." She gave the girl a half smile. _What am I even saying right now?_

"Sure." Rachel said, pocketing her money. "Do you want to stay here, or go somewhere else?" She looked around the packed venue. "Maybe someplace a little more..." _Secluded? Private?_

"Actually, yeah. I'm kind of starving, now that I think about it. There's a coffee shop just around the corner. Right about now it's probably pretty quiet." _And secluded. And private._

"I could always eat. Singing like that makes me feel like Faith. I want either food or..." Rachel trailed off, flushing. "Uh yeah, that sounds good." She moved to the door.

"Faith? What, like the vampire slayer?" Once the question was out of her mouth, Quinn wondered how in the hell she'd quickly made that connection. Also, that meant Rachel was hungry and... well, horny.

Rachel glanced at her. "You watched Buffy?" There is no way Quinn was allowed to watch Buffy in her parent's house. Witches, demons, those clothes, lesbians. The horror!

"The GSA in college used to marathon episodes once a week. I wasn't into it at first, but this... um, girl I... liked at the time was hardcore." Quinn didn't mention that the girl was about five foot two with brown hair, brown eyes and had a tendency to be a little bit bossy.

"Ha! My dads loved it. They thought it would teach me good feminist values." Rachel explained. She put her hand on Quinn's lower back as they walked. "I have to ask this... you **are** single, right?" Rachel glanced at her.

Quinn actually laughed. "Yeah. Though I have recurring affairs with various pianos across the city just about every night." They were now standing in front of the diner. The blonde reached for the door and opened it. "But yeah, single. However, there's probably something you should know..."

"You have a penis?" Rachel finished for her, a soft smirk on her face as she walked in the coffee shop.

"I think you probably would have noticed that. And that totally trumped what I was going to say about how I got pregnant in high school and now there's an eight and a half year old in upstate New York with my smirk and Puck's nose." The hostess told them to sit anywhere, so Quinn moved for a booth in the back corner.

"Aww. She got stuck with Puck's nose? Poor thing." Rachel said as she slid into the booth. "But your smirk? So, she basically gets her way whenever she wants?"

"She seems like a really nice kid, so far. Apparently, you can overcome genetics." Quinn opened the menu and casually asked, "What about you? Single?"

The brunette never knew how to answer that. She was... mostly. But she had a few girls she could... call. For things. "Nothing worth reporting."

"That... sounds like someone dodging the question. What is it, a green card marriage? Some dashing Canadian ice dancer?" The waitress came by to take their order. Quinn asked for coffee and a short stack. "It's on me, whatever you want," she said to Rachel.

Rachel ordered a black coffee and a grilled cheese. Once the waitress was gone, she looked at Quinn and sighed. "I'm not like, dating anyone. But I have a few girls. That... are around. For things."

Quinn rolled her eyes, if even just slightly. "You sound like Puck." She'd never really been a casual dater. Things were either just hookups or she'd end up in brief relationships that never really worked out. "That's not a bad thing, though. I just can't do it."

"It's better than before. I know all of them really well, and we're all friends. I trust them to keep me safe, and they're the same with me. I love them all, but none of them are who... I'm looking for." Rachel's eyes shifted to Quinn's.

The coffees were delivered to the table and Quinn busied herself by dumping an obscene amount of sugar into one as she asked, "What was it like... before?" She was genuinely curious about what had happened in Rachel's life. Something had changed her, even though she seemed more like her old self tonight than she had the other night or even back in college. She wanted to know, but it also scared her more than a little.

"You really want to know? It's not a fairy tale." Rachel wasn't... uncomfortable talking about her past. Three years of therapy helped that.

"I do and I don't. But the curiosity's definitely killing me, so yeah." Quinn braced herself. She hoped she was making a big deal out of nothing. But something told her that wasn't the case.

"I broke up with Finn my freshmen year for another man. Keith. Dr. Keith Nelson. He was my vocal teacher, thirty-two, and married. You can imagine... I was like a pet to him. When he finally told me after months of saying otherwise, that he, in fact, would not leave his wife for me, I kinda freaked out. I started drinking a lot, and I started sleeping around a lot. Directors. Writers. Producers. Actors. Men. Women. A few people who identified as gender queer. All of them. I wasn't making my way to the top with my voice, so I tried to fuck my way to the top. That didn't work either. The year you saw me... I was a fucking mess. I don't even remember a lot of it." Rachel paused to take a sip of her coffee.

"Oh." That was certainly a lot to take in. Though, it wasn't the worst thing in the world. "Um, do you remember much about... that night?" Quinn had been tightly holding onto that memory, because it had been special, even though it wasn't. Even though it was just sex. Even though it was one night. Even though it put her into a mild depression for a week. She just chalked it up to being a moody and emo twenty-one year old who got stuck with the crappy end of a one night stand. But she'd held on to the idea that somewhere, Rachel knew what had happened.

Rachel hesitated. "I don't know if this... makes it better or worse. But Quinn, that night? Is one of the ONLY things I remember from that year." Her voice went soft. "I remember... everything. Even drunk. I remember it all."

That was good, right? Except then it opened up another question. "So, then... do you remember why you left? I mean, I didn't expect you to stay, like, forever or whatever..." She suddenly felt like she was back in college, slightly cocky but insecure.

"Quinn. I was a fucking MESS. I couldn't... you could not have saved me. I would have just pulled you down with me, and you... didn't deserve that. When I woke up, I knew I had to leave. Because for you to realize what you'd just... bedded. I didn't want you to ever know. I would rather you'd have just thought I was a bitch." Rachel fingered the ends of her hair.

"Oh," again was the reply. The waitress slid their orders in front of them. "So, that was back then. But what changed this week? Because something's definitely different." Quinn poked at the pancakes, but her appetite had dissipated.

"Oh god." Rachel let her face fall into her hands, turning red. "That, is embarrassing."

That was enough to make Quinn smirk through a bite of pancakes. "That means it must be good, then."

Rachel took a deep breath. "I saw you. Last week, I knew you were the player, and I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. But it was. And I-" She trailed off. "Couldn't stop thinking about you. So, I'm really glad I got called to do this last minute."

Right up until she actually said that, Quinn would have believed that Rachel had just been called in as the replacement. "Yeah, that was kind of weird how that happened. What's wrong with Emily, anyway? I hope it's not too bad. Maybe I'll text her tomorrow, to see how she's feeling."

Rachel looked a little panicky. "Uh, she wasn't horrible. Just, mildly under the weather." She picked at her sandwich. "What are the chances you're actually believing me right now?"

Quinn shot her an amused look over the top of her coffee cup. "Rachel, you're really good at a lot of things... lying is not one of them."

"I have to sing for free at her best friend's bachelorette party and I paid her a hundred dollars to take her spot tonight. There." Rachel couldn't look up.

"Why?" Quinn set the cup down. There had to be more to all this that Rachel was telling. After all this time, they just happened to book a gig together. And then she _paid_ someone to take their place? "You could have just shown up or something. How'd you even know I was playing tonight?"

"Then I wouldn't have gotten to sing with you," was the simple answer in the land of Rachel Berry. "And I knew because Emily mentioned she was doing this gig, and I dug until she told me the name of the pianist."

"You know my name, you could have just looked me up. We're friends on Facebook for god's sake." Quinn wasn't mad, she was just in awe of the lengths Rachel had gone to. "And if you wanted to sing, you could have just said so."

Rachel's mouth opened, then closed. Then opened again. "I didn't know if you would... want to. Not after I dipped out twice."

"That's... a good point. But, maybe next time you're trying to reconnect with someone, it'll save you a hundred bucks." Quinn shrugged with a straight face, but her eyes were bright.

"I doubt I will ever try this hard to reconnect with anyone, ever." Rachel said honestly. Her fingers played on the edges of her coffee cup. "Is it okay, that I did that?"

"I would go ahead and say that I'm okay with the way it all turned out." Quinn took the chance to reach across the table and hook her index finger over one of Rachel's that seemed so interested in the make up of a standard cafe mug.

A small and slow smile crossed over Rachel's mouth, and her eyes met Quinn's. "Just okay?" She started, teasing a little.

"RACH! Baby, is that you?" a woman yelled from across the dining area. She was tall, pretty, young looking. Her hair was long and fell in soft blonde waves around her shoulders. She moved across the room with a purpose. "Rachel! What are you doing here? And I thought you were going to call me tonight."

Rachel was staring at her, frozen. "Uhhh."

Quinn looked up when the voice first pierced through the diner. She saw a blonde moving toward them, no _coming_ at them. Her eyes moved back to Rachel to see if this was someone the brunette actually knew, or maybe just a crazed fan, but the look on her face suggested it was someone she didn't really want to see right now.

This, for some reason, made Quinn happy.

She was about to politely tell this person to kindly fuck off, when her eyes settled on the girl's outfit. Jeans and a t-shirt. A Columbia t-shirt. The same exact style as the one Quinn had spent half a semester stressing over. The same exact _shirt_ , because there it was, that bleach stain on the right side, just above the hem. "Who's this?"

Rachel looked at Quinn, then the girl, then back at Quinn and swallowed. "Uhh, Jessie. Jessie, this is Quinn. She uh, plays piano and sings at gigs. And we uh, went to high school together." She focused on Quinn. "Quinn... Jessie is... uh."

"The girl whom you didn't call back twice this week." Jessie said scooting into the booth next to Rachel before she dropped a kiss on her cheek. She focused on Quinn. "God, is she recruiting you into her harem?" She turned to smirk at Rachel, "Don't you have the most specific type, EVER? _Fuck_. I would love to meet the girl from your past that gave you this kink." She looked at Quinn again.

The brunette ignored most of that. "Jessie, why are you wearing my shirt?"

"You left it over my place on accident the other night. I'm surprised you didn't have a nervous breakdown."

Quinn already had her wallet open and was digging out the cash for the bill, even though the waitress hadn't brought the ticket, yet. She dropped more than enough money on the table. "Well, Rachel, it's been great catching up with you."

It had been stupid to think this was anything special. Rachel didn't want her, she wanted an idea of her. Between this girl wearing _her_ shirt, her _fucking shirt_ , and then woman from the other night, and god knows how many in between, it was obvious. Well, Quinn, wasn't sure _what_ was obvious, exactly, but it was obviously **fucked up**.

"Lovely to meet you, Jenny," she said as she slid out of the booth.

"Quinn! Wait!" Rachel cried out. "Jessie, let me **up**." Rachel snapped.

"Oh, what, so you add to your collection and have less time for me?" Jessie responded, rolling her eyes.

Rachel was panicked as she tried to get out of the booth. "Quinn!"

She didn't stop when Rachel called after her. This was too weird. Once she was out the door, she managed to catch a cab right at the curb, and was inside in seconds. The cabbie was on his cellphone and talking rather loudly, so once Quinn gave him her address, she dug her headphones out of her purse and plugged them into her iPhone.

_2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake / "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?_

Once Rachel managed to get out of the booth, she ran after her, but was too late. She caught sight of the cab just as it rounded the corner.

"FUCK."

_Like they have any right at all to criticize / Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason_

All the way home, Quinn just let herself seethe in the backseat. She didn't even want to think about what just happened. Fortunately, there was a very welcome distraction waiting on the doormat to her apartment.

"Howdy stranger," she said.

He looked rather bohemian this time around. Maybe it was the poncho, or maybe it was the poncho and the guitar settled over his lap. "Hey, beautiful."

_'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable / And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table / No one can find the rewind button, girl. / So cradle your head in your hands_

She let him into the apartment and watched him toss his duffel bag behind the couch, then rest his guitar against the wall. The second his hand were free, she threw herself into his arms.

"Missed me that much?"

"It's been a weird week."

He didn't ask any other questions. And, suddenly, Quinn remembered just how safe and comfortable he was.

_There's a light at each end of this tunnel / You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out / And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again / If you only try turning around._

Puck didn't sleep on the couch that night.

_Oh breathe, just breathe._

_._

_._

_._


	5. Serenade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, Quinn ran out. So, what does Rachel need to do to get her to stick around?

**Title** : Serenade (In the Mood for a Melody: Part Three)  
**Author** : [](https://kben.livejournal.com/profile)[**kben**](https://kben.livejournal.com/) and [](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/)**meggygurl**  
**Rating** : NC-17, angst (then sex!)  
**Length** : 6700  
**Spoilers** : Sectionals  
**Summary** : This time, Quinn ran out. So, what does Rachel need to do to get her to stick around?  
**Notes** : _This is part three of the future!fic In the Mood for a Melody series. This was supposed to be a_ three part _series, but it's actually four because part three ran super long. Also, this is kind of the gamechanger. That means this is the part_ with _the porn in it. Crap, maybe I just gave away too much. But, we did angsty porn before, so, you really have no idea what's going to happen. Do you? DO YOU? -_ If you enjoy a multimedia experience, the songs featured in this fic are Feelin' the Same Way, Criminal, Love Song, and Good Enough.

* * *

  
It had been three days since that night. After the first full twenty-four hours passed, a message appeared in Quinn's Facebook inbox. She still hadn't checked it, so it just sat there, leaving that stupid little number one at the top of the page, every time she signed in. When she looked at the received messages page, she could see that the first line read, "Quinn, I'm so sorry, please let me" and then it cut off.

_Please let you what? Explain? Apologize? Invite me to join the cult of Quinn?_

She knew that was harsh. And really, Rachel wasn't doing anything Quinn hadn't. Still. It freaked her out.

Tonight she was working downstairs at the Duplex, a tiny venue in the Village. It was her regular night, and she knew there was a good chance Rachel might decide to show up. She might even bring her army of Quinn clones with her.

Whatever. She still had singing to do.

_The sun just slipped its note below my door / And I can't hide beneath my sheets / I've read the words before so now I know / Time has come again for me_

It was a weeknight, so the place wasn't packed, but it wasn't empty. Granted, the space wasn't that big, so there was a fine line between packed and empty. Quinn smiled at an older gay couple who sat at a small table close to the piano.

_And I'm feelin' the same way all over again / Feelin' the same way all over again / Singin' the same lines all over again / No matter how much I pretend_

New York City was a large, people packed place. But the community of local bar singers, at least the regulars were were serious about it, was small. It really was strange that Rachel and Quinn took this long to run into each other. But Rachel used that smallness to her advantage, and found out where Quinn was working next.

She didn't dress up for this, no. It would be insulting at this point to think some skin would make it right. No, Rachel knew better then that. She wore jeans and a long black tank top, but it was chilly, so she threw on a scarf with a thick black jacket. Her hair was loose and natural, with a little wave to it. Not too done up, just... Rachel. She moved into the small venue and her eyes went right to the piano in the corner.

Quinn. Was there. And for the first time in days, Rachel was able to breath. She moved about halfway to the piano before taking a seat at the bar, turned with her body facing out. She was clearly nervous.

_So many times I've wondered where I've gone / And how I found my way back in / I look around awhile for something lost / maybe I'll find it in the end_

Despite the tiny size of the place, Quinn somehow managed to not catch Rachel when she entered. It wasn't until she was almost finished with the song that she spotted the brunette at the bar.

_Feelin' the same way all over again / Singin' the same lines all over again / No matter how much I pretend_

Once the final words were out, she nodded at Sandy, the bartender, that she wanted another drink. Meanwhile, she spoke to the room. "How is everyone tonight? Good?" A couple of her regulars cheered. "Yeah, well, that's what I get for working weeknights." Sandy delivered the drink to the piano. "Thanks, Sandy. Everyone sat hi to Sandy."

Rachel just watched her at first. She needed to figure out how to proceed from here. She chewed her lower lip, her eyes never leaving the blonde. She was aware she was staring, but most everyone in the room had their eyes on the singer. She could talk to her? No. She doubted Quinn would talk to her. And she was working.

She was working. At a piano bar. Which meant, she had to play. She had to play whatever the customers of this bar wanted. Rachel was a customer. Well, she was as she quickly turned around and ordered a beer. She didn't want to get drunk, but she wasn't going to be _that_ person either.

Now Rachel Berry had a plan.

Quinn kept watching Rachel out of the corner of her eye. She could tell she was up to something, but she wasn't sure what, exactly. A regular came up to the piano to put their name on the list. Once they were done jotting down what song they wanted, the blonde picked up the clipboard and called out the next person. It was a first timer singing a selection from _Wicked_. Something about subjecting Rachel Berry to amateur attempts at her favorite showtunes made Quinn feel a little bit better in the moment.

Rachel didn't even hear the bastardized version of Defying Gravity, which was good, because she might have cried had she been listening to it. She counted three people having signed up. Perfect. She slid off her stool and moved to the piano. She didn't even look at Quinn as she jotted down "Rachel Berry - Love Song by Sara Bareilles." She moved back to her seat and waited.

"All right everyone, let's give Teddy a round of applause. It takes a lot of guts to come up here the first time. After that, it just means you're a masochist." A few people laughed. Quinn read off the next name, her eyes scanning down to see what Rachel had written. _Crap, she was going to sound fantastic singing that_.

Through the next couple patrons, Quinn was present with the music, but her mind wandered. She was going to have to talk to Rachel eventually, right? Unless she found a way to sneak out. Yes, she could create a diversion and slip away.

Only, she couldn't run from Rachel forever. And this was stupid, because she'd spent, like, ten years hoping for something like this. Maybe that was why she was so upset. Because felt stupid about it. Like, really dumb. Dumb enough to go home that night to find Puck waiting at her door and then decide it was a good time to revisit old habits.

Except he wouldn't sleep with her. Instead, after making out for about nine minutes, he pulled away and said, "We can't do this." When Quinn asked why not, he said, "One, you're really gay and in love with Rachel. And, two, you're really gay and in love with Rachel." And then he excused himself to the bathroom for another nine minutes. After that, he spent the night in her bed, holding her close while she rambled on about stupid blondes in shirts that weren't even theirs to wear and some other stuff that Quinn didn't even real remember now. She mostly just recalled how pissed off she was.

Somehow, like she'd been in a trance, the blonde checked the clip board to see that the next name was Rachel's. _Shit_. Quinn quickly thought of a way to stall.

"Before we move on to the next singer, let's do a number from the request bucket!" She reached over to the small plastic bucket that sat on top of the piano, right next to the tip jar, and pulled out a slip of paper. Eager to prolong the wait before Rachel's song, Quinn jumped right into the request without thinking about it.

_I've been a bad bad girl / I've been careless with a delicate man / And it's a sad sad world /  
When a girl will break a boy / Just because she can_

The blonde suddenly realized that this was a really bad song to have to sing in front of Rachel, given the circumstances.

_Don't you tell me to deny it / I've done wrong and I want to / Suffer for my sins / I've come to you 'cause I need / Guidance to be true / And I just don't know where I can begin_

Rachel's first thought when Quinn went to the bucket was that she was stalling. Which kinda pissed Rachel off. Then she heard what song Quinn was playing and she frowned. Was that really the request? Was she really playing _that_ song right now? With her there? God. Maybe there was no chance. Maybe Quinn really couldn't forgive her. Or was she... sorry? Rachel wasn't sure how to take it.

When Quinn got to the chorus, a table in the back started singing along, rather loudly. That was usually a good sign of who made the request. Which meant that Rachel hadn't magically teleported over and dropped the slip in when the blonde wasn't looking.

_What I need is a good defense / 'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal / And I need to redeemed / To the one I've sinned against / Because he's all I ever knew of love_

Rachel glanced back at the table singing, then turned her eyes back to Quinn. If she would only listen to her, they wouldn't have to do this. Neither of them would have to feel like this, because Rachel could see how uncomfortable Quinn looked. She could hear it in her normally perfect voice (Perfect? Where did that come from, Rachel?).

Quinn just shut her eyes and continued with the song. She could quite literally play it with them closed, because this was one of those _angry piano chick_ songs she pounded out on bad days in high school.

_Let me know the way / Before there's hell to pay / Give me room to lay the law and let me go / I've got to make a play / To make my lover stay / So what would an angel say / The devil wants to know_

It was finally just too much, too close to home, so she said, "You guys know this, let's hear it!" The audience gladly chimed in with the final chorus.

Rachel didn't sing with the rest of the bar, and it wasn't because she didn't know the song. She did, every word. But she couldn't, she just couldn't sing it with Quinn. It hurt to much. It was too raw. Still. Rachel closed her eyes and all she could see for a moment was blonde hair trailing behind Quinn as she ran away.

"You all sound awesome! Now, knock it off or I'll be out of a job." The patrons laughed. Quinn picked the clipboard back up, as if she needed to read it to know who was next. But there was no use procrastinating. She just needed to get this over with. "Looks like we have another first timer, folks. Rachel Berry?" Quinn acted as if she was looking around for someone to respond so she could recognize them. Absently, she drew a little star right after the "Berry".

Rachel moved up there and picked up the mic. "Hello, I'm Rachel. This is my first time singing here, so please be gentle." Only then she did let herself look at Quinn and give her a nod to cue up the music. She bobbed her head to the piano into, then started.

_Head under water / And you tell me to breathe easy for a while / The breathing gets harder, even I know that / Made room for me but it's too soon to see / If I'm happy in your hands_

Rachel turned away from the crowd, probably for the first time in her entire life, her back was to the room. She was not singing to them. She didn't care about them. She was singing to one person. Her dark eyes bore into the blonde, and she put down the mic. She didn't need it. As soon as she'd turned to sing to Quinn, the entire room had fallen silent. Really, it fell silent the moment Rachel first started singing. Now, they were invested.

_I'm unusually hard to hold on to / Blank stares at blank pages / No easy way to say this / You mean well, but you make this hard on me / I'm not gonna write you a love song / 'cause you asked for it / 'cause you need one, you see_

Rachel's voice filled the bar fully, but with her eyes on Quinn and her back to the crowd, it could have just been the two of them.

_I'm not gonna write you a love song / 'cause you tell me it's / Make or break in this / If you're on your way / I'm not gonna write you to stay / If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better / Reason to write you a love song today_

Normally, Quinn would not just jump in on someone else's song. This, however, was not a normal singing situation. And, Rachel was clearly trying to make a point. So, she figured it was only fair to take the next verse. She shoved the piano mic away, so it was just the two of them.

_I learned the hard way / That they all say things you want to hear / And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you_

It was weird the way music just... worked. That it made her feel better. Still she was pissed off at Rachel, even if they were doing that... thing... where they sounded really good together.

_Your twisted words / Your help just hurts / You are not what I thought you were / Hello to high and dry_

Hazel eyes were still fixed on brown ones. Quinn dug deep to emote as much as she could.

_Convinced me to please you / Made me think that I need this too / I'm trying to let you hear me as I am_

Rachel took a step closer, her eyes pleading with Quinn's. _Please, hear me. I'm trying. I'm telling you everything right now. Please. Hear me._

_I'm not gonna write you a love song / 'cause you asked for it / 'cause you need one, you see / I'm not gonna write you a love song / 'cause you tell me it's / Make or break in this / If you're on your way_

Rachel kept eye contact. She needed Quinn to understand. She needed the blonde to give her a chance. She didn't deserve one. But a decade ago a much younger version of the brunette forgave the a cheerleader, and she needed that same compassion given back to her today.

_I'm not gonna write you to stay / If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better / Reason to write you a love song today_

Quinn had a pretty good idea of what Rachel was trying to tell her. It was the same thing that had been lurking around in the back of her own mind for the last few days. But it still scared her.

_Promise me that you'll leave the light on / To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone_

For a brief moment, she pictured what her life might be like if she'd been a different person back then, back in Lima. What if she'd just told Rachel she liked her? What if they'd dated? What if they'd gone to prom? Hell, what if, for some reason she'd kept her baby and Rachel had been there, right along side her? She couldn't even begin to imagine what that would mean. But she knew that, right now, this woman was here, asking her for a chance.

_'cause I believe there's a way you can love me / Because I say / I won't write you a love song / 'cause you asked for it / 'cause you need one, you see_

Rachel was standing right next to the piano bench now, her body leaning in towards Quinn. She saw something in the girl's expression, and it made her heart soar. And Rachel wondered, briefly, if _this_ was what love felt like.

_I'm not gonna write you a love song / 'cause you tell me it's make or break in this / Is that why you wanted a love song / 'cause you asked for it / 'cause you need one, you see / I'm not gonna write you a love song / 'cause you tell me it's make or break in this / If you're on your way_

Rachel slid onto the bench, straddling it so she was facing Quinn. The smaller girl was quaking she was so scared, so worried, so everything. She felt it all, she wanted it. She wanted _it too much_ and she was so scared what would happen if she lost this.

_I'm not gonna write you to stay / If your heart is nowhere in it / I don't want it for a minute_

Rachel put her hand over Quinn's fingers on the piano, stilling them. She was nearly breathless as she half whispered, half sung the last line.

_Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that / There's a reason to / Write you a love song today_

Just like the other night at the birthday party, the crowd thought it was some kind of brilliant performance. Everyone cheered, a few people whistled.

Quinn just sat at the piano, hands still on the keys, eyes shut. After a few breaths, she opened her eyes and grabbed the mic. "It's about time for a ten minute break which means, it's two for one drinks until I get back."

She didn't look at Rachel, but she had a hold of her hand as she rose from the bench and moved for the door. Once they were outside, she let go, and she still wasn't looking at her.

Rachel watched her, silent. She wrapped her arms around herself, biting her lower lip.She didn't know what this meant. What Quinn was thinking, any of it. She hoped, yes. She hoped. But she didn't know. And she hated not knowing. But it looked like Quinn needed to get herself together, so Rachel let her.

Quinn finally faced her, though her eyes were on the ground. "I love you." There. It was out. Unfortunately, there was still more to say. "I've... loved you... for a long time. I'm pretty sure I've loved you since I heard you sing _Don't Rain on My Parade_." She finally managed to catch Rachel's eyes. They weren't as scary as she'd imagined they'd be. "I... loved you that night, after the party... and when you weren't there the next morning I... it doesn't matter. Because that night, that first night we sang together, I _still_ loved you. And I don't even know why or how or if it means I'm probably insane. But through all this, I've been in love with Rachel Berry." The blonde took a breath. "So, when some..." _Bitch? Slut? Whore?_ "... girl showed up, looking a lot like me, right down to my favorite Columbia t-shirt, calling you baby and giving me the stink eye... well, that kind of flipped me out a little bit. Or, a lot. A whole lot."

Rachel was silent for another minute. This was too important to rush, even she knew that."Quinn, I wasn't in love with you in high school. I- I felt something, that night at the party. But that wasn't love. Comfort, maybe. I know it helped me get help. It helped me save myself. But I didn't love you." She tucked her hair back. "And Jessie, thinks. Thought. She thought she was my girlfriend. But she's not. She's not anything anymore, or not to me. It kinda ended when she asked me what was more important, _my_ favorite t-shirt or her. Well. Your shirt is washed and laying on my bed. So, that should tell you that." She took a breath and met Quinn's eyes. "I wasn't in love with you before, Quinn."

"So, um, at what point, exactly, did before turn into after?" Quinn asked, quietly.

"I don't know when it happened, but I know when I knew for sure. When we sang together... last time. When I played and we sang and I don't know, something inside me just clicked into place. It all came together. And I knew." Rachel replied, just as quiet. "And I ended it. With all of them. That night. After you left. I didn't want that anymore. I didn't want replace you. You're... irreplaceable."

"You should have known better. There's only one Quinn Fabray." A smile crept across Quinn's face. She was about to say something else when she heard the piano from inside the bar. "That's weird..." Before she could even get back inside to find out what was going on, Sandy stepped out into the sidewalk. "Who--"

"Go home, Quinn. Danny's taking over for the night."

"Am I... fired?"

Sandy laughed. "Right. Yeah. Here's my boot in your ass." She turned to Rachel. "This one, at least once a month, gets tanked after her set and cries about some girl, some Rachel Berry from years ago."

Quinn's hand flew up over her face. "Oh my god."

"So," Sandy continued, "when I heard her read your name, then saw the number you two put on, I figured..." She ruffled Quinn's blonde hair. "So, go home. And take her with you."

Rachel smiled at Sandy, nodded. "Will do." She reached out and took Quinn's hand. "Come on. I want to hear more about this getting tanked and crying over me thing."

"Don't listen to her she's crazy." Quinn let her hand slip into Rachel's. "You wanna get out of here?"

"Yes. Let's go to my place." Rachel tugged on her hand. "I don't live far, we can walk it." Rachel never, ever brought girls back to her place. She always went over their's. She just... didn't want to complicate things by them becoming a part of her apartment. So, she kept them away. But tonight, she didn't hesitate in inviting Quinn back.

They walked for about half a block when Quinn stopped. "Hold on. There's one more thing I forgot to tell you."

Rachel looked at her. "Yeah?"

Quinn slipped her hand behind Rachel's head and pulled her in for a kiss. After a moment, she pulled back and resumed walking. "That was it."

Rachel was a little breathless as she smiled at the blonde. She laced their fingers and led her a few more blocks down, before moving into her apartment building. When they got there, Rachel glanced at her. "You sure about this?"

"Uh, yeah." Quinn nodded. "If anything, you owe me my favorite t-shirt back." She was definitely sure, but maybe a little nervous.

A smile appeared on Rachel's lips, then she moved into the apartment. No one else seemed to be there. Rachel led her right back to the furthest bedroom. Once they were inside, Rachel shut the door behind them. She looked at Quinn and smiled a little. "I've been wanting to see you alone for weeks."

"Well, you've got me." Quinn gave her a small smile back. "Do you have roommates? Do we have to worry about noise? Not that... I mean... in general." She wasn't sure why that had just embarrassed her, but it did.

"Normally, yes. I have two. But they both went out of town. So, it's just us. Although, I do have neighbors who like to complain." Rachel leaned over and turned on the iPod dock that sat on her dresser. The volume was relatively low, but loud enough to act as a sound cover, in the event of... moderately excessive noise. She cupped Quinn's face, her eyes boring into the blonde's. "Quinn, I am going to kiss you now. And I would really like that to end up with me making love to you. If, for any reason you are not okay with this please tell me." She brushed her lips over Quinn's. "And after, you can start wearing your Columbia shirt again."

"I'm okay with that," Quinn assured her, and suddenly regained her confidence . "And, so, that means we're in the clear on the noise thing?" She brought her hands to Rachel's waist and pulled her in tighter before pressing her lips firmly against the brunette's.

Rachel's answer was a loud moan into her mouth, her hands slipping into Quinn's hair. She kissed her deeply, her smaller body pressing into Quinn's. Rachel was ready for this. Very, very ready for this.

Quinn deepened the kiss, her tongue traced along, then pushed past Rachel's lips. She realized they were still standing, and she really didn't want to be upright, anymore. "Could we, uh, maybe move? Like, to the bed?"

Rachel grinned. "I think that can be arranged." She took her hands, and tugged her towards her bed. Once they got there, Rachel carefully pushed Quinn so she sat on the bed. Then, she put her hands on Quinn's shoulders and climbed onto the bed so she's straddling her lap, knees on either side of her hips. "You, have no idea how much I want you, Quinn Fabray." She leaned down and kissed her neck. "It's a lot." She kissed her neck again. "All night if that can be arranged."

"I'm yours." Quinn was talking about the evening. And about everything else that statement might encompass, too. Her hands rested on top of Rachel's thighs, the slid up toward her hips. "And, if I have no idea, maybe you should explain just how much you... want me. Or show me. Which, I'm pretty sure is what you're doing. I'll shut up, now." She kissed Rachel's shoulder.

The iPod changed songs, and Quinn couldn't help but get distracted by the fact that it was probably the most appropriate song, like, ever to come on right in that moment.

_Hey your glass is empty / it's a hell of a long way home / why don't you let me take you / it's no good to go alone / I never would have opened up / but you seemed so real to me_

Plus, if her college experience counted for anything, Sarah McLachlan was a lesbian sex staple, anyway.

_After all the bullshit I've heard / it's refreshing not to see / I don't have to pretend / she doesn't expect it from me_

"I want to make sure you know, that this isn't some weird... messed up thing. I want **you**. No one else." Rachel traced patterns on her throat with her tongue. "You're so hot when you sing. Do you know how hard it was for me not to just... take you there?" She nipped at the skin. "Do you know how _wet_ you make me?"

"I actually _don't_ know." Quinn brought one hand down and ran it up Rachel's inner thigh, along the fabric of her jeans. "But I would really, really like to find out." Her mouth moved over the skin of the brunette's shoulder.

It was different, doing this sober. Because everything really counted for something. Everything had a purpose, a reason.

_so just let me try / and I will be good to you / just let me try / and I will be there for you / I'll show you why / you're so much more than good enough..._

Rachel pulled back from kissing the blonde's neck and pulled her own shirt off. She was down to a black bra, which she quickly removed. Then she tugged up on Quinn's shirt. "I want to see you." Rachel's voice was thick, low.

Arms up, Quinn let the shirt come off. Her bra was lace and white and matched her panties, nothing too fancy, but fortunately not her laundry day underwear. Already, her hands here all over Rachel, roaming over stomach, sides, around the back, up the arms. She just wanted to touch her, feel her.

Rachel let out a soft sound at the way Quinn was touching her. She slid her arms around her back and unhooked the bra, tossing it aside with her shirt. She took in the sight before her. Age had gone well for Quinn, and she was even hotter then Rachel remember. "You are fucking gorgeous." She dipped her head down and caught a nipple in her mouth.

One hand sought out a handful of brunette hair. Quinn moaned softly at the mouth on her breast. "Rachel..." Her other hand gently groped until it settled on Rachel's breast. She circled her thumb over the nipple.

The brunette's pink tongue flicked over the hard nub, then lightly sucked, moaning low at the attention she was getting back. It caused her hips to roll into Quinn's.

That was enough to make Quinn move her hand to grasp Rachel's hips and change their positions. Now Rachel was on her back on the bed while Quinn straddled her waist. She leaned down to kiss her, hungry, hot, ready, wanting, needing, everything.

_Oh!_ Well, that was unexpected, but not unwelcomed. Rachel kissed her back just as hard, just as needy, her hips rocking up into the blonde. She reached between them and tugged open her jeans, trying to push them off. "Mmm... off," she mumbled into the kiss.

"Gladly." Quinn quickly removed the jeans, then ran her fingers over Rachel's panties. "What about these?"

"Off." Rachel said with a soft whimper. "God, all of it off."

Before she took them off, Quinn's fingers just barely grazed the point directly between Rachel's legs. "Damn, you weren't kidding," she said, trying to hold back a moan. The panties were soaked. And then they were gone, tossed on the floor, quickly joined by the blonde's own pants and underwear.

Now she was naked. They were both naked. And Quinn needed to feel Rachel's body against hers. Again.

Rachel wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close, their bodies touching, skin on skin on skin. She nuzzled Quinn's neck, mumbling. "You smell amazing." She licked up to her ear, sucking on her lobe for a moment before she moaned into her ear. "I want to be inside you. And I want to eat you out. Which do you want?"

"I have to choose? Because I was under the impression we had all night." Quinn caught Rachel's hand and kissed the palm, then each finger. "I just want you, everywhere." She brought the hand down between her own legs, then released it. "Starting there."

"There is good." Rachel said with a soft moan. Her fingers caressed her mound, then she slipped a finger into her folds. "Fuck, Quinn. You're soaked." She mumbled, stroking her folds. Her fingers slid up and circled her clit. "How long have you wanted to jump my bones?"

"Remember those dirty pictures on the bathroom wall?" Quinn groaned. "That..." Her hips arched at the touch. "... was my artistic expression of wanting to see you naked." She whimpered. "I added the penis as an afterthought. To cover my tracks."

"You were so weird." She kissed her neck. "But, I meant tonight." Her fingers flicked her clit, then rolled it in her fingers.

"I... oh god... um... somewhere during that song." Blonde hair fanned across the pillow as Quinn tossed her head back at the touch and the anticipation of what Rachel was doing. "I thought you said you wanted to be inside me."

"Oh? Like this?" Rachel carefully pushed two fingers inside of her, curling them against her walls. "Fuck, Q. You are so fucking TIGHT."

There was a sharp exhale when Rachel's fingers entered her. This was so definitely obviously not the first time she'd done this. It wasn't even the first time with Rachel. But everything seemed so... clear. And it wasn't like she'd never had sober sex before. Of course, the drunk sex probably outweighed it. But this, being with Rachel, being aware of everything, knowing it was just... right. It made it all feel, well, right.

Rachel didn't even know how long she'd wanted to do this (again), but she moaned low as she pushed into her. "Quinn..." She whispered softly into her ear. "I love you. I am in love with you." She curled her fingers. "I want to spend a very long time with you, in the future." She started pumping her fingers more.

Quinn Fabray had been through a lot (granted, not as much as Rachel had, apparently), but she'd had her share of emotional experiences. That being said, she had never, ever cried during sex. So, when she felt tears welling up at what Rachel just said, she was a little confused, at first. Because everything was good, so very good. And then she realized they were happy tears, and she felt much better about everything. And then she wondered how she was capable of so much thinking when Rachel was doing that with her fingers.

There was a whimper, followed by, "I love you, too." Then she reached to pull Rachel's face to her, because she needed to kiss her, again.

Rachel kissed her deep, her fingers speeding up. Her own eyes were welling up and she mumbled against her lips. "I am so, so sorry."

It was a little overwhelming with all the different emotions that were happening at once. Quinn could feel that she was getting closer and closer to her climax. "I forgive you." Her hips ground against Rachel's hand and her hands groped along the brunette's back. "I really, really forgive you."

"Good." Rachel added a third finger, curling them inside of her. Her thumb rubbed her clit quickly, trying to push her over the edge. "Come for me, please."

"I am... oh, god, I am," Quinn whimpered into her neck. Her body shuddered and she tightened her grip, short nails digging into the smaller girl's back. She felt herself tighten around the fingers inside of her, which made her feel incredibly connected to Rachel in the moment. And again, those damn tears came back.

Rachel rode out the orgasm, kissing away the tears on her... Quinn's face. Her Quinn. She slowed her fingers down, then slowly pulled out, kissing her more. "You are gorgeous when you come."

Still trying to catch her breath, Quinn offered a lazy smile. She reached up and brushed the stray strands of hair out of Rachel's face, then traced her fingers over her lips. "I meant it. I do forgive you. And I do love you." She closed her eyes and took a breath before opening them again. "I just thought I should say that while I was slightly more coherent. But only slightly."

Rachel laughed softly, kissing her neck. "Don't expect it to last. There's a lot I want to get done tonight."

"I hope you left room in this schedule for some stuff I'd like to do." Quinn's fingers threaded through dark hair.

"If those plans involve you inside of me, I'm free right now." Rachel mumbled into her skin.

"Well, that's convenient." She brought her knee up and pressed it against Rachel's hip, just enough to nudge her onto her back. Quinn's hand moved over her breasts, across the skin of her stomach, then down toward the brunette's center. There would be time to explore, later. Right now, she just wanted to get this woman off.

A low whimper escaped Rachel's mouth. "Please... yes. Quinn... god please. I need you. I've needed you so badly." Her hips rocked up.

"How badly?" Quinn didn't want to draw anything out so long that it was painful, but she did have the brunette at her mercy. "Tell me all about how much you need me."

"I've been thinking about you, at night. I-I touch myself and I think about you." Rachel whimpered. "It's the only way I can get off, is if I'm thinking about you. So. Badly. I need you so badly."

Quinn took Rachel's hand, and put it on top of her own. "Show me. Make me do the things you think about me doing."

"Oh, fuck," Rachel moaned. It took her a moment to get her bearings and move her hand over Quinn's, then take control of it. She drew the blonde's fingers to her clit. "Like this... I touch myself and imagine it's you."

Quinn let Rachel guide her for a little longer, then took over. Mostly because she couldn't contain herself, anymore. She dipped her fingers lower and, somehow, Rachel was even wetter than before. Her two fingers slid in easily and she began to work them in and out.

Rachel hips moved, grinding against her hand. "Harder." She whimpered out. "Please. More." Her nails dug into Quinn's arms as she held on.

Quinn pushed herself up onto her knees, so she could get better leverage, her hand pushing harder into Rachel as she added a third finger. She pulled the brunette in closer, draping one of her legs up around her waist. Now, if she rocked her own hips, it added a driving force behind her hand.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!" Rachel chanted. "Quinn. _Fuck. **Quinn.**_ " She cried out as her body convulsed and she came around Quinn's fingers.

Quinn wasn't ready to stop, not if Rachel would let her keep going. She'd just hit her stride, really. Her fingers maintained their pace, with a rock of the hips, she continued to thrust into her.

Short nails dug into Quinn's arms and she whimpered, still grinding against her fingers. "God. Yes. _Yes_. Quinn, baby... god." Rachel was panting, too far gone to think if pet names were allowed or not.

"Rachel, look at me..." At the moment, the brunette had her eyes squeezed shut. "Open your eyes and look at me..."

Brown eyes blinked open and met hazel. "Okay."

"I want to see you when you come. I want you to be looking at me. And I want you to think about how Quinn Fabray makes you come." Quinn wasn't even sure where all this was coming from, but saying it was turning her on. She just hoped it wasn't crossing some kind of a line.

_Oh my god, that was hot_. "Oh god, I will." She whimpered and kept her eyes locked. "Make me come, Quinn. Please, I want you to make me come."

"How badly do you want it?" She thrust again.

"Please, I'll do... I'll do anything you want. Please... Quinn... what do you want me to do?"

_I think I almost just got off on her talking to me_. "Baby, all you have to do..." Quinn's hips rolled. "Is let me," a thrust. "Watch you," another thrust. " _Come_." Her other hand reached down and worked Rachel's clit between her fingers.

"OHMYFUCKINGGODQUINNI'MCOMING!!!!" Rachel cried out, all in one breath, as her entire body shuddered.

Quinn noted that the music wasn't _quite_ loud enough to keep the neighbors from hearing that.

The brunette rambled through her orgasm. "I will do anything you want. Fuck. baby. Anything. God. I love you. I'm yours. Fuck. Yours. All yours. You can have me. I want you to have me. Take me Quinn, have me."

Quinn slowed her fingers, then pulled them out. She moved back up to lie next to Rachel and pulled the brunette to her. "I've already got you. You don't have to do anything." As the smaller woman quaked in her arms, the blonde pressed kisses to her forehead, cheeks, and lips.

Rachel took some deep, shaky breaths, calming herself down. "Wow." She looked up at her. "You are... wow."

"Took you long enough to figure that out." Quinn couldn't resist a smirk before she leaned in to kiss her.

Rachel ignored that comment, and just kissed her back. She pulled back after a moment and whispered. "When I wake up tomorrow, you'll still be here, right?"

Quinn nodded. "Yeah. I promise."

Rachel kissed her, again. And when they finally broke for air, she said, "I promise, too."

.

.

.


	6. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after. But that should be easy. Right?

**Title** : Always (In the Mood for a Melody: Finale)  
**Author** : [](https://kben.livejournal.com/profile)[**kben**](https://kben.livejournal.com/) and [](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://meggygurl.livejournal.com/)**meggygurl**  
**Rating** : PG-13  
**Length** : 3700  
**Spoilers** : Sectionals  
**Summary** : The morning after. But that should be easy. Right?  
**Notes** : _This is the fourth and final segment of the future!fic In the Mood for a Melody series. Thanks to everyone who has been consistent about commenting and letting us know what you think!_ - If you enjoy a multimedia experience, the songs featured in this fic are Hard Headed Woman, Girlfriend, She's Always a Woman.

* * *

 

The iPod dock was programmed to randomly select from a certain list of songs when set to the clock radio function. Which was how Rachel found herself waking up to Cat Stevens.

_I'm looking for a hard headed woman / One who will take me for myself / And if I find my hard headed woman / I will need nobody else, no, no._

She wasn't sure when they eventually wore each other out enough to fall asleep, but she was pretty sure she'd seen the first hint of sunlight coming through her blinds. Several hours after that, she started to wake up and the first thing she noticed (after the clock radio) was the smell of Quinn was everywhere. Before her eyes even opened, she smiled and reached over for the blonde. "Mmm... baby."

Nothing.

Her eyes shot open and she looked at her empty bed. Quickly, she sat up and looked around the room.

Nothing.

_I'm looking for a hard headed woman / One who will make me do my best / And if I find my hard headed woman / I know the rest of my life will be blessed -- yes, yes, yes._

"Quinn?" She called out, hoping (praying) she was in the bathroom. She didn't hear anything. Rachel quickly pulled on some sweat pants and reached for her favorite t-shirt, the Columbia one she stole from Quinn four years ago. It was missing. Rachel swore and found another (less comfortable) shirt and pulled it on, moving out into the living room of her apartment. "Quinn," she tried again, looking everywhere, even in her two roommates' rooms.

_I know a lot of fancy dancers / people who can glide you on a floor / They move so smooth but have no answers. / When you ask "Why'd you come here for?"/ "I don't know" "Why?"_

Nothing.

The apartment was empty. No note, nothing.

_I know many fine feathered friends / but their friendliness depends on how you do. / They know many sure fired ways / to find out the one who pays / and how you do._

Rachel sat on her couch, numb inside. She deserved this. This was punishment for college. For everything wrong she'd ever done. For getting Sandy Ryerson fired when she was sixteen to all the married men (and women) she slept with trying to get ahead to leaving Quinn Fabray's dorm room, stealing her favorite shirt. All of it. Her face fell into her hands, and she just started to sob, small shoulders heaving.

_I'm looking for a hard headed woman / One who will make me feel so good / And if I find my hard headed woman / I know my life will be as it should -- yes, yes, yes._

Quinn hadn't just taken the t-shirt. She'd taken the apartment key, too. Rachel had tossed it on the table by the front door when they came in last night.

_I'm looking for a hard headed woman / One who will make me do my best / And if I find my hard headed woman..._

So, when she came back with coffee and bagels, she just let herself back in, since she was pretty sure Rachel would still be sound asleep. Except she wasn't. She was on the couch. And it looked like she was crying.

"Rachel? Are you okay?" Quinn dropped everything onto the entryway table and rushed over to her.

Rachel looked up quickly, her jaw dropping a little. "Quinn? You're... I thought... I woke up and you were gone..." She wiped her eyes, sniffing a little. "I thought you'd left."

"I... no." She sat down and pulled the brunette to her. "I made a promise, remember? Which I now realize that I technically broke."

Quinn remembered exactly what it felt like, that morning in college. The disbelief that she was actually gone, the self-doubt that immediately followed. "I went to get us breakfast. Because, sweetie, there's nothing in your kitchen but Grey Goose and tomato juice."

Rachel pressed her face into Quinn's neck and held her tightly. "I was so scared. I thought- I thought you were gone. I thought this was revenge for what I did in college and everything I did in high school like getting Mr. Ryerson fired and being a diva and telling Finn about you and Puck and, oh god, I'm so sorry I did this to you because it hurts so badly."

This was the first time since high school that Quinn though Rachel sounded just like her old self. Outside of singing, anyway. There was just something in the way she carried on that immediately made the blonde think of that girl who offered to let Quinn punch her in the face, with a request to avoid the nose.

Quinn wrapped her arms around her. "It's okay. You already apologized. And I'm so sorry I made you think I bailed on you. I should have left a note or something. You were just so... asleep. I mean, I even hit my knee on the dresser and cursed and everything and you slept right through it."

"I'm a heavy sleeper." Rachel mumbled into her neck. She took a deep breath and pulled back enough to look at Quinn, her cheeks flushed. "Sorry... I just. After last night, the idea that it meant nothing... I couldn't take that." She reached out and tucked a strand of golden hair behind Quinn's ear. "You got breakfast?"

"Yes, I did." Quinn kissed the top of her head, then rose from the couch to retrieve the food. She set it on the coffee table and sat back down next to Rachel. "It's just coffee and bagels. But I assumed it was a better start to the day than vodka." As she opened the bag and passed one of the bagels to the brunette, she noticed how comfortable things felt. Not pressured. She didn't really know what that meant.

"You say this like you do that often." Rachel said, picking at her bagel. "And hey, we have juice. That's breakfast like." The brunette took a sip of her coffee, closing her eyes for a moment in pleasure. "God is found in coffee."

"I think I saw a guy in Times Square holding a sign that said just that." They sat in silence for a couple minutes, focused on the act of eating. "So... what, um, comes next?"

"Oh! I know this one. I think. It's been a while though." Rachel focused her dark eyes on Quinn. "Quinn Fabray..." She took a deep breath, and sang out the rest, a smirk on her face.

_Would you be my girlfriend / I'll treat ya good / I know you hear your friends when they say you should / 'cause if you were my girlfriend / I'd be your shining star / The one that show you where you are / Girl you should be my girlfriend_

Quinn hadn't been excepting a musical answer. Though, considering who she was talking to, it only made sense. A smile broke across her face at the answer to her question and the choice of song. She peaked an eyebrow, then responded, all while trying not to roll her eyes at the cheesiness of the moment.

_Ever since I saw your face / Nothing in my life has been the same / I walk around just saying your name / Without you my world would end, yeah / I've searched around this whole damn place_

She picked up Rachel's hand in her own.

_And everything says you were meant to be / My girlfriend_

Rachel was grinning hard as she pulled the blonde in and kissed her softly, her other hand cupping Quinn's face. She pulled back after a long minute and rested her forehead against the other girl's. "You know, I made more tips on the two nights I sang with you then I ever have. Maybe we should be a combo deal. Or is that too gay? Dating and working together?"

"It's not like we'd be one of those real estate couples. Tips are tips. It was ridiculous how much they loved us." Quinn tilted her head up and kissed Rachel's forehead. "Besides, **too** gay would be me buying a toothbrush while I was out and leaving it here." She dug into her pocket and pulled out a small bag from the drugstore, which she tossed onto the coffee table.

"Well, that's better then you just using mine. Which reminds me, I should do that. And shower. Morning breath is only cute in movies and books." Rachel pressed a kiss to Quinn's shoulder. "Do you have anything to do today? Or can we spend all day in bed cuddling and talking?"

"I work later. But that's not until tonight. That reminds me." Quinn looked at her cell phone and opened a text message. "Sandy says hi." She handed the phone to Rachel.

The screen read, Q, _Bring that Rachel Berry girl with you tonight, so I can grill her. <3 Sandy._

Rachel smirked. "I guess I should at least look nice for tonight. Should I bring my resume? Both professional and personal? Letters of reference. I think Finn might still write me something nice..."

"I think it's definitely in your best interest to wear something that shows a lot of leg. I mean, in the interest of sheer professionalism." Quinn took another sip of coffee. "So, I know I already asked this before, but what have you been doing, other than gigs in bars and feminist lesbian theatre? Are you still auditioning for the big stuff?"

Rachel was silent for a moment, looking at her coffee. "Yeah, I do. I still... hope. Ya know, that I'll make it." She looked up. "No one else knows that. I mean, I don't tell anyone anymore. It's just embarrassing."

"Rachel, you're twenty-five. You still have time. And you're not one of those crazy people who just think you have what it takes. Trust me, I see plenty of those at the bars. You have it. You've _always_ had it." Quinn gazed at her. "College must have been really rough on you..." She still didn't know the whole story about why Rachel had gotten so jaded over everything.

Another long silence before the brunette spoke. "I told you, about the professor. The one I saw after Finn."

"Yeah." Quinn nodded. "The one who wouldn't leave his wife?"

"He got me pregnant." Rachel stated, leveling her eyes with Quinn's.

The coffee almost ended up in Quinn's lap. Fortunately, she had quick reflexes. "Oh. Uh, what... happened with that?"

With out a word, Rachel stood up and moved into her room. She returned quickly, holding a frame in her hands. She handed it to Quinn. Inside the frame was a curly headed girl, around one, holding a bottle and grinning. "Her name is Sara. My dads kept her while I was still in college and a total wreck. But I'm starting to get her more... weekends and stuff. I go home as often as I can."

"You..." Quinn assumed Rachel was about to tell her she'd had an abortion. Instead, she was now looking at a picture of a tiny happy kid. "She looks just like you," she said with a small smile. "It's weird, isn't it, knowing you brought someone into the world, but not being there for everything?"

"She acts just like me too. Her first dance recital was last month. She was amazing." Rachel smiled. "It is. Though, I'm there for a lot. And the plan is for her to move here in the next few months, so she will start kindergarten here with me in New York. So. You should know that, before we really start dating. I'm about to be a twenty-five year old with a five year old daughter. I hope this... doesn't change anything."

"It changes everything! I totally scored with a MILF last night." Quinn laughed and looked at the picture, again. "What made you decide... no not... give her up? I mean, it sounds like it wasn't the best time for you. You could have just..."

"I could have. And I almost did. I made an appointment and I went with the four hundred dollars he gave me to take care of it." Rachel chewed her bottom lip. "But then... out of nowhere, for the first time in years, Puck called me. Just to like, say hi or something. But then all I could think about was you two and how you gave your baby up for adoption and how the whole Glee club went to the hospital the night she was born and I saw her and held her I couldn't get that mental image out of my head and I just ran out of the clinic." She took a deep breath. "So I went home and told my dads and we all cried and we decided the best thing for everyone would be if they kept her until I graduated and could support us both."

"Can I ask what happened after that? Because that means when I ran into you... it would have been after... and you said that year was pretty much a mess." Although, Quinn could already kind of imagine what things would have been like. To go through nine months of pregnancy and then be expected to pick right back up with your life as if nothing ever happened... she knew that feeling.

There was a long silence as Rachel collected her thoughts. "I got pregnant, and I carried her inside of me for nine months. My daughter. And then, my dads brought us both home, and I spent a month with her. Then I had to go back to school. I kissed her goodbye, then didn't see her in person again for five months. When I went back, everyone just acted like... nothing happened. And soon, it was like I was two people. I was buying baby toys to send home to my daughter and vodka for a mid week bender all in the same trips. And pretty soon it was like... like I resented her. For making me deal with this whole motherhood thing. I wasn't ready, I didn't want it, it messed with my PLAN."

She looked at Quinn. "I saw her as holding me back, and so I did everything I could to break away from it. It wasn't... it wasn't until I saw you that that night in college I started to... I mean. I wasn't better. But I started visiting more. And then I wanted to visit her more. And I slowed down on the drinking and the one night stands to maybe a few rounds once in a while and a handful of regular girls I was seeing. I didn't want to kill myself with it by going overboard, anymore. I didn't want to die and for her to never know me, or me her."

Quinn's brow was furrowed in concern. Something about all this bothered her. "So, you've slowed down. But how much? Because I watched you do three shots before our set. And, there's a really big bottle in the freezer, right now."

"I was singing with Quinn Fabray. Those shots, were needed for me to get through that with out running away like a scared little girl." Rachel looked at her. "And how much did I drink the second time? And tonight... I barely touched my beer. The vodka in the freezer, I've had for months. And I've had maybe... a cup? Also, it was a birthday gift." She took Quinn's hand. "Are you worried, that I have a drinking problem? Because... I did. But I don't anymore. Not if I want my daughter back, I sure as hell don't. The vodka won't be coming with me when I move."

"I didn't mean to assume... I just want you to be okay, you know? And, the idea that Rachel Berry has a deep dark history... that's a lot..." Quinn squeezed her hand. "It's a lot, but it's not too much. Know that."

"I **am** okay. And I know, there's a lot. You just... should know all this before we get started. No surprises." She leaned in and brushed her lips along Quinn's jaw. "But, I'm still in here. The Rachel that believes in optimism and hope. Also, angels."

Quinn had a brief flashback to high school and smiled.

Rachel looked at her. "I'm ready to be a mother to my daughter, and to make up for the first several years of her life. I'm going to be a good mom, because I want to."

"It's a big step. The whole motherhood thing. Not that I really know, I just had to think about it a lot for nine months, you know?" Quinn handed the picture back to her. "I can't wait to meet her."

"It is, and I haven't been ready. Which was wrong and selfish of me. But I was a wreck and didn't want to drag Sara through that. Now, she has great memories of her granddaddies raising her and all she knows is mommy is in the big city getting it ready for her arrival." Rachel grinned. "We're moving her in the same weekend as pride so she thinks the parade is for her." The brunette looked at Quinn. "Are you sure? I mean, I know it's... a lot. And I don't want it to hurt or anything... cause you didn't keep her."

"Are you kidding? I mean, I know what you're saying... and yeah, there are times when I kind of wonder what it would be like. But I know Madison's happy and healthy and I was fortunate enough to find a family for her that's open enough to even let me be a part of her life." Quinn leaned back against the couch. "Back then, I was sixteen... I so wasn't ready to be a mom. At all."

"Are you ready to be kinda a step-mom?" Rachel asked, trying to joke a little. "At twenty-five?"

"Rachel. We have been officially dating for, like, twenty minutes. First, you suggest we work together. Now, you're suggesting co-parenthood? You are such a lesbian. Hand me that toothbrush so I can put it in the bathroom."

"At least I didn't ask you to move in with me when I get my own place next month." Rachel smirked as she handed Quinn the toothbrush. Just then, her cellphone started ringing and she moved back into her bedroom to answer it. "Hello, this is Rachel Berry."

Quinn went into the bathroom and searched for the toothpaste so she could brush her teeth. It was kind of funny, how entirely opposite this experience was from the last time they'd slept together.

"Yes, that was me last night." Rachel sat on the edge of her bed, listening. "Really? Oh wow. Yes. Of course! When?" She jumped up and flipped through a day planner on her dresser. "Nine o'clock. I will be there! Thank you very much Mr. Anderson." Rachel hung up and just stood there.

Quinn had just finished brushing her teeth when she heard Rachel talking excitedly from the bedroom. She moved down the hall. "What's going on?"

"I got a part." Rachel looked up at Quinn. "I auditioned a few weeks ago for this off Broadway production. Brand new, it looks really cool. Anyway, the casting director was there last night, saw us, and remembered I auditioned. Apparently, he liked our... little number so much, they went ahead and cast me without a call back." She bounced on her feet a little. "I GOT A PART!" She pulled the blonde in for a tight hug.

"Oh my god!" Quinn hugged her. "So, that means we can't spend all day in bed. Because we have to celebrate. Or, I guess we could celebrate in bed."

"I would rather celebrate in bed." Rachel kissed her cheek. "First, I need to do things involving my personal hygiene." She moved out of the bedroom, calling out. "We've got, like, eight years to catch up on, start thinking of some topics."

"I'll make a list," Quinn called after her.

There was a keyboard on a stand in one corner of the room. A guitar case was propped against the wall. Quinn smiled at the thought of Rachel using classic girl-with-guitar seduction tactics in college. She turned on the keyboard and sat on the stool that was next to it.

She played the first song that came to mind.

_She can kill with a smile / She can wound with her eyes / She can ruin your faith with her casual lies / And she only reveals what she wants you to see / She hides like a child / But she's always a woman to me_

Eight years. Of catching up to do.

_She can lead you to love / She can take you or leave you / She can ask for the truth / But she'll never believe you / And she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free / Yeah, she steals like a thief / But she's always a woman to me_

At least they'd have plenty to talk about.

_And she'll promise you more / Than the Garden of Eden / Then she'll carelessly cut you / And laugh while you're bleedin' / But she'll bring out the best / And the worst you can be / Blame it all on yourself / Cause she's always a woman to me_

And once they covered what they'd missed over time, there would be new things. Things like Sara. And getting cast in new shows. And, as always, classic piano bar drama. There was always bound to be someone butchering a classic, and now, instead of imagining what kind of snarking the brunette might come up with, Quinn would be able to hear it in person.

_She is frequently kind / And she's suddenly cruel / She can do as she pleases / She's nobody's fool / And she can't be convicted / She's earned her degree / And the most she will do / Is throw shadows at you_

If anything, life with Rachel Berry would never, ever be boring.

_But she's always a woman to me_.

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_end_


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